Chicago's Offensive Line - Chicago Bears Podcast & Blog

The Scouting Report: Detroit

2007-10-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

Welcome to The Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. Lionsinthebasement.com, a Detroit Lions podcast, joins us and takes a look at week 4.

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - Football is a game of match-ups. Which match-up will you be watching and why?

Lions in the Basement (LIB) - The biggest worry for us at least is Detroit versus Soldier Field. The road has been really scary for Lions fans. But, at least offensively, for the Lions each game comes down to the protection provided by our swiss cheese like offensive line. If we can give Kitna time we have a good chance every week. If Kitna has time to throw, I think that our receivers can beat anybody.

COL - In the preseason, Jon Kitna promised that the Lions would win 10 games this season. Back when he said this, did you believe him?

LIB - Honestly, No. But it was good to hear that someone on the Lions (not named Roy Williams) believed enough in our team to make that kind of prediction. The attention that we received, althought mostly negative, gave the team both a goal and something to rally around. That prediction doesn't look quite so silly now.

COL - You guys call yourself the Lions in the Basement, was that a prediction of where the team would end up this season?

LIB - In no way was this a prediction of the Lions finish this year (and the fact that they finished there so many times before had nothing to do with it!?). It is just where we record the podcast. Our tagline is "It's not where they'll finish, it's where we record".

COL -Who are you guys happier to get back, Kevin Jones or Calvin Johnson?

LIB - Both, but if forced to pick, we would have to go with Kevin Jones. Just the threat of a running game at least forces the defensive line to think about something other than sacking Kitna. Kevin Jones looked real good (versus Tampa Bay) and if that keeps up it could be a very long season for opposing defenses. If other teams are forced to try and cover our receivers one on one, it will be a long day for defensive coordinators.

COL - How the hell has Matt Millen managed to keep his job for so long? Don't get me wrong, we've all been glad he's still there, but it makes you wonder.

LIB - We think the honest answer is he became good friends with the owner of the team. As long as Millen knows enough to b.s. Ford the job is his. Millen is massacred in the papers, we had the orange out, and who can forget the Millen man march last year? But come draft time there he is picking another receiver in the first round. At least he has gotten them half right with Calvin and Roy. Until Ford or Millen get hit by a bus on the way to work, the job will probably be his.

COL - Do Lions fans tune out Roy Williams as much as the rest of the nation does?

LIB - We here in the Basement try to tune in to everything Roy says. He is one of the most entertaining players in the NFL. Adds a lot of character to the team and most everyone knows it is just Roy being Roy. Plus, when he really puts his foot in his mouth, he is willing to don the Pizza Hut uniform and deliver pizzas personally.

COL - What is your prediction for the game this Sunday?

LIB - Kitna stays clean, Jones runs well, and you will wish you could tune out Roy Williams, Lions win 31-17.

Thanks again to Lionsinthebasement.com for the interview.

The Scouting Report: Green Bay

2007-10-05T16:56:00.000-05:00

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - Let me start by saying that it's been difficult for us to come up with a set of civil questions because we dislike the Packers so much. Do you think that the level of animosity between the two fan bases can be chalked up to a simple divisional rivalry or does it go deeper?

PN - I think much of the animosity stems from the Mike Ditka/Forrest Gregg days. Those two coaches hated each other and it trickled down to the players and to the fans. Gregg once told his players "you take care of the Bears, I'll take care of Ditka". Then the 1989 Instant Replay Game is still a sticking point in the Bears craw and Packers fans love to rub it in.

COL - Brett Favre has been having a great year so far. So far this year he's taken the career passing attempts, wins as starting QB, and touchdown passes and he's also on pace for career passing yards. The important question is, when will he break the NFL career interceptions record?

PN - Certainly it could happen this week, with weather likely to be a factor at game time, but this year's version of Brett Favre is different than the throw-it-up-for-grabs days of Mike Sherman as head coach. Favre is not given that leeway any longer and his play this year indicates that. Favre will end up with the most interceptions all time, but given his career it is only fitting. You don't get to be great by not taking chances, and No. 4 has made way more good plays than bad in the last 16 years.

COL - Seriously though, Favre and the Packers have been on a tear since the end of last season. What do you attribute this reversal of fortunes?

PN - First of all the defense got its act together the end of last year, which in turn as made Favre better because he's not playing from behind all the time. Also the Packers are building from the ground up under head coach Mike McCarthy and the young team has bought in to his method of coaching. McCarthy has done wonders with the offense this year by winning without the benefit of the running game and his pass-as-good-as-a-run approach is very reminiscent of the early Mike Holmgren days in Green Bay. General manager Ted Thompson believes in building a strong defense first and that has happened for the most part. And the Packers are gaining confidence in themselves as well. While the Packers are lacking in the running game, I believe they have an excellent receiving corp in Donald Driver, Greg Jennings and James Jones. Favre has weapons now, and if he stays healthy will have a huge year with these guys.

COL - Through the first four games of the season, the Packers are dead last in the NFL in total rushing yards. Where has the run game gone and how long can you continue to win without it?

PN - I do believe that part of the running game problem has been who the Packers have played thus far. The Eagles, Chargers and Vikings are stout against the run and for the most part they have tried to run the ball. I will be more concerned if the time comes when the Packers need to run the ball and can't, if that happens. I still think Vernand Morency will be a big factor in the running game's improvement once he has back to full speed. That may be laughable, but I think Morency is at least workable.

COL - Does it bother you that your best linebacker is married to Brady Quinn's twin brother?

PN - Maybe some day they will meet in the Pro Bowl. All I really know is, she's hot!

COL - Favre tends to draw most of the media coverage when it comes to Green Bay. Who would you say is the most over looked, or under the radar, player on the Packers?

PN - This year I would have to say linebacker Nick Barnett. Last it was Donald Driver, but he got his just due when he made the Pro Bowl. Now it's Barnett's turn. He has been a demon so far this year making big plays left and right. Barnett led the team in tackles every year until A.J. Hawk beat him last year. I think Barnett wants to get that crown back.

COL - Other than the rushing situation, is there an area of the team that you would most like to upgrade?

PN - I'm worried about the offensive line. The zone-blocking scheme doesn't seem to working like it does in Denver and Atlanta and if the Packers scrap it they don't have the type of offensive lineman to play a power running game, so they are very limited that way. If the running game doesn't pick up this year, all but Chad Clifton and Mark Tauscher may be gone.

COL - Final question, what's your prediction for the game this Sunday?

PN - Clearly at this point in time, factoring in injuries, the Packers are the better team. Brett Favre is 22-8 against the Bears but has struggled at home recently against them. Still, Cinderella lives another week. Packers 19, Bears 13.

Thanks again to Al from Packernet.com for the interview.

The Scouting Report: Detroit Part 2

2007-09-30T11:31:00.001-05:00

Welcome to The Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. Joe from LionsLocker.com, a Detroit Lions blog, joins us and takes a look at week 4.

LionsLocker (LL) - Will Brian Griese be a huge improvement at QB for the Bears? And will Rex Grossman ever see the football field in a real game for the Bears?

COL - I guess this is a matter of perspective. Till now, Grossman has been giving the ball away to opposing defenses like Santa at Christtmas and this has been killing us. Griese is known as being a much better decision-maker under center but he doesn't have the arm for the big pass play. Grossman's time in Chicago is pretty much up. Unless there's an injury he's gone after this season.

LL - Did the Bears trade the wrong running back? Cedric Benson doesn't appear to have much fire in him and he fumbles a lot.

COL - That's been a questionable move since it came down. Basically there were two things in play there. First, Benson got drafted/paid three years ago while we still had Jones under contract, setting the stage for the running back conflict. Second, Jones wasn't going to get the deal he wanted and made the deal that he would stick around for one year if the Bears promised not to franchise him after the 2006 campaign. Benson is moody, slow to start during games, drops the ball on the deck, and can't pick up the blitz to save his life. So, the short answer is yes, they did.

LL - Will the QB switch get Mushin Muhammad more involved in the offense?

COL - That's hard to say, but I think that Griese will distribute the ball more than Grossman has through three games. There will be more passes in the short to middle areas of the field, so I would say that Bernard Berrian will definitely see a decline in production.

LL - How in the world can the Bears defense replace Lance Briggs, Tommie Harris, Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman and still be effective?

COL - It's definitely going to be hard, if not impossible, to keep producing at that level. While the Bears are known primarily as a Tampa 2 defense, they really only play the zone a third of the time. I think you'll see us play that a lot more in the coming weeks until we get our defense healthier. The big question is whether or not defensive coordinator Bob Babich will continue to call such aggressive games with as much blitzing as he has through the first three weeks.

LL - Would the Bears have won the Super Bowl in Griese started the game last season?

COL - No. It's even questionable whether they would have made it to the Super Bowl with Griese under center. When it came down to it, our defense is the strength of our team and it was just over matched against the Colts offense.

LL - I know Devin Hester has a TD return already this season but doesn't he seem a little off?

COL - I would agree, but there's a question as to what the cause is. I believe that he's pressing because he realizes that, with our anemic offense, games are hinging on whether he scores or not. Some believe that his time on offense is taking away from his return abilities.

People also tend to forget that he had a bad case of the dropsies around the same time last season and it took a lot of work for him to get past it. I think if he can settle and get back to his instinctive running he'll be able to work out of it. The Bears special teams squad is just too good for him to stay down too long.

LL - What is your prediction for the outcome this Sunday?

COL - I'm not feeling good about this game. The Lions have a high scoring offense and the Bears secondary is decimated right now. I think the Lions pulls this off at home, 17-21.

Thanks again to Joe from LionsLocker.com for the interview. Be sure to check out part two of the interview, where we answer the questions.

The Scouting Report: Detroit Part 1

2007-09-29T22:19:00.000-05:00

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - There was a Matt Millen protest last year and he tends to be a punching bag for other fan bases. Has the Lions success this season taken any fan pressure of Millen or is there still a feeling that he needs to go?

Lions Locker (LL) - Matt Millen still must go. A 2-1 start doesn'tmake up for the 24-72 record under Millen's watch.It's really stunning how bad the defense is when youconsider that Millen was a good, nasty linebacker as aplayer.

COL - I know when Millen drafted another wide receiver with the Lions' first pick we all got a chuckle over here in Chicago. Calvin Johnson has proven that he's a capable receiver and potential game changer in the first few games of the season. How did Lions fans react to the pick and how he's been performing so far?

LL - Calvin Johnson was by far the best playeravailable at the #2 pick in April's Draft. OffensiveCo-Ordinator Mike Martz definately has a lot of say inthe organization as offense is not the Lions problem.They would have been better off trading down andgetting a boatload of picks to use on the defense.

COL - I would say that Jon Kitna holding on to a starting job for an extended period of time is more a miracle than recovering from the concussion he had against Minnesota. Is he the real deal for Detroit and is he a quarterback the team and the fan base can really get behind.

LL - Jon Kitna is not the QB of the future for theLions. He turns the ball over way too much eitherfumbling it away or throwing pickoffs. Drew Stantonis the hope for the future when he returns from hisknee injury next season. But, Kitna's by far the bestQB the Lions have right now.

COL - After getting 56 points dropped on them the vulnerability of the Lions secondary was put on display. What's the situation with the DBs and how much of this was caused by the trade of Dre Bly to the Broncos in the off season?

LL - The Lions have decided that they will try tooutscore everyone and that's why the Bly tradehappened. They needed help at running back andoffensive tackle so the Lions didn't think they couldafford not to take George Foster and Tatum Bell forBly. The Lions secondary has a pretty poor collectionof players. CBs Fernando Bryant (16 tackles) andStanley Wilson (14 tackles) can't stop a cold letalone opposing receivers. Safeties Gerald Alexander(14 tackles, INT) and Kenoy Kennedy (11 tackles)aren't really playmakers but they can hit.

COL - After three weeks the Lions are ranked third in over all offense but 29th in over all rushing. Why such a disparity?

LL - The basic answer here is that Mike Martz hates therun. They would run the ball more if Kevin Jones werehealthy. The Lions don't have a lot of faith in TatumBell as they named a fumbling drill in practice afterhim.

COL - Rod Marinelli was Lovie Smith's first choice for defensive coordinator when he became head coach here in Chicago. How has Marinelli fit in the Detroit locker room and is Mike Martz secretly licking his chops waiting to take over the head coaching position?

LL - I think that Marinelli is a good motivator andtactian but he doesn't have the horses on defense.Mike Martz would love to be the head coach of theLions after the raw deal he got from the Rams who gotrid of him while he was sick.

COL - Last question, what's your prediction for the game this Sunday?

LL - I like the Bears to win this game 27-24 as I havea feeling Griese will inspire your offense.

Thanks again to Joe from LionsLocker.com for the interview. Be sure to check out part two of the interview, where we answer the questions.

The Scouting Report: Dallas

2007-09-19T17:02:00.000-05:00

Welcome to The Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. Rafael from TheBoysBlog.com, a Dallas Cowboys blog, joins us and takes a look at week 3.

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - We know second chances are plentiful in the NFL. With Tank Johnson signing with the Cowboys earlier this week, how are Dallas fans reacting? Is Jerry Jones' attitude of winning at all costs despite character issues sitting well with you and other Cowboys fans?

Boys Blog (BB)- On Tank Johnson, I think the fans are fine with it. He's not going to show up with six weeks, so he's already on his best behavior in a sense. If he's pulled over again, or gets in some altercation in the next month at some bar he's gone.

People know he was turned down repeatedly and that he's only costing Dallas about $255K so the risk is small and the potential reward great. He's going to be a backup, so he's not comparable with T.O. He's here to make sure Jay Ratliff doesn't wear down.

COL - The Cowboys organization interviewed a lot of head coaching candidates after last season. How happy are you and other Dallas fans with the choice of Wade Phillips?

BB - He was the top choice of people on this site, given the available talent pool. I think a guy like Jeff Fisher would have been the top choice, but once it became clear that Tennesse was going to surround him with fire breathing dragons, Phillips was choice one. There was a huge push among Dallas press types for Norv Turner and he was NOT liked by my community.

COL - Over the first two weeks, the Cowboys have piled up 82 points. Who has been the most underrated player on the offense during this scoring explosion?

BB - It's hard to say who's been underrated. T.O. and Jason Witten have led the charge and everybody knows them. The good Romo has showed up, so I think the fans are relieved and excited.

If I had to push unsung guys I'd say the OT's Flozell Adams and Marc Colombo and the tight ends coach John Garrett, Jason's brother. Both OTs were injured during much of camp but are having great starts. The tight ends have been awful as run blockers the past couple of years. Witten didn't block half as well as his size allows. This year all three TEs have been great and it's opened up the outside game. Dallas flexes their TEs inside and runs a lot of "wham" traps and these guys have been cleaning up ILBs.

COL - T.O. has been pretty quiet so far this season. How long till he does something to draw the media circus back to Dallas and what will it be for?

BB - I don't see anything with T.O. He gets along with his OC, something that wasn't true in S.F. where had and Mariucci butted heads. He also gets along with Romo. We all know how he clashed with McNabb. Jason Garrett is calling plays for him and Romo's throwing him the ball. So long as that happens, I don't think we'll hear a peep from him, odd as that may seem.

COL - Are you now, or have you ever been, a Romosexual?

BB - My site was the first one to put the term in print. I'm an unrepentant Romosexual.

COL - It seems like Marc Columbo is back to full strength from his almost career ending injury suffered during his rookie campaign with the Bears. How much of a factor is he on Dallas' O-line and how do you think they match-up with the Bears' D-line?

BB - Colombo is better this year. He was gritty as a pass blocker last year but didn't have much pop as a run blocker. He's still not as good as Adams but he's still better this year.

As far as matchups, I think the matchup on Dallas's side that concerns me the most is Tommie Harris on Kyle Kosier. He's the weakest Dallas lineman, though he's solid. Harris, OTOH, was making Chris Deilman look stupid, so that's a possible mismatch. On the other side of the ball, I think too much is being made of Olin Kreutz vs. Jay Ratliff. Ratliff is getting his chance and he's good. He's not the road block Jamal Williams is but he's a very good pass rusher. You don't find many good pass rushing nose tackles.

COL - And finally, what's your prediction for the game?

BB - Prediction? I've just started watching tape so I'm shaky. Before the season I thought Dallas would start 2-1 with the loss in Chicago. If Terence Newman were 100% I would pick Dallas but I'm going to stick with my original pick for the time being. Chicago 17, Dallas 16.

Thanks again to Rafael from TheBoysBlog.com for the interview.

The Scouting Report: Kansas City

2007-09-14T14:31:00.000-05:00

Welcome to The Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. Chris from ArrowheadPride.com, a Kansas City Chiefs blog, joins us and takes a look at week 2.

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - Chicago is no stranger to the quarterback controversy. With Damon Huard as the Chiefs starting QB and Brodie Croyle waiting in the wings, which of these QBs gives the Chiefs the best chance to win and why? Who would you rather have under center?

Arrowhead Pride (AP) - By a hair, you can probably say that Damon Huard gives the Chiefs the best chance to win right now. Huard will makes fewer mistakes but at the same time can't make a lot of throws that Brodie Croyle's strong arm can. On the flip side, you could say that Croyle's arm strength gives the Chiefs the best chance to win because of defenses stacking the box against Larry Johnson, which creates the opportunity for more plays downfield.

I'm personally a Brodie Croyle guy. I don't believe that Damon Huard gives the Chiefs enough of a competitive advantage over Croyle to justify the veteran starting. The Chiefs need to find out if Croyle is the QB of the future and I would rather that happen in a down year like this year than wait until 2008. If the Chiefs are going to be scrapping around at the bottom of the AFC West all year, we might as well get the kid some experience.

COL - Everyone knows about Larry Johnson and Tony Gonzalez. What other players on the Chiefs offense should we be watching come Sunday and why?

AP - Beyond those two guys, the Chiefs don't really have anyone who has developed into a true weapon. Dwayne Bowe will eventually be our no. 1 receiver but he's nowhere near fully developed. I'll throw in a player thats a guilty pleasure of mine- Bobby Sippio. The guy caught 53 TDs last year in the Arena League and has athleticism and an attitude to boot. He's shown he can catch the ball a bit and not much else but I'm still excited about see Sippio play. Chalk it up to a case of having a boring offense this year and not having a lot to get excited about.

COL - As a Bears fan, I obviously don't want Larry Johnson to run rampant this week, but please tell me why I was right to draft him in my fantasy league for this season. Was last week's slow start due to his extended hold out, the load he had to carry last year, the fact that he doesn't want me to repeat as league champion? Is there concern in the Chiefs fan base since he is obviously a huge part of your offense?

AP - Last week's performance was based entirely on Herm Edwards only giving the ball to Larry Johnson 17 times. Only ten of those were rushes, down from his 26 carry a game average. Edwards was admittedly trying to ease LJ back into gameshape since he missed nearly all of the preseason. Over the next two games, Larry Johnson will be back on track and carrying the ball around 25 times a game. Herm knows he can't go very long without maxing out LJ so it will happen. Don't worry. Beyond the hard core believers in the "Curse of 370 Carries", most fans are expecting LJ to have another monster season. Maybe not as huge as his last two seasons, but he'll rush for somewhere around 1500 yards.

COL - The Chiefs made it to the play-offs last season, losing in the first round to the eventual Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts. As competitive as the AFC is this year, how do you think the Chiefs will fare this season in the AFC West and in the conference overall?

AP - I think the Chiefs will hover around the 6 win area and probably end up behind San Diego and Denver in the AFC West. It will be a cold day in hell before we place lower than the Raiders. We just don't have enough firepower on the offensive side of the ball to do much better than that. Our defense will win us some games though, mark my words. The legendary Chiefs' defense of the 1990s is on its way back.

COL - I thought Priest Holmes was dead. What's he thinking trying to make a comeback at his age, after all this time away from the game?

AP - Priest can talk about dreams and desire all he wants. Most fans know that he came back for the $$$. If what I've heard is true, Priest will receive a lot of money if he is cut. He seems to be forcing Carl Peterson's hand in that direction. He's on the PUP list until Week 7. He has that long to prove us wrong and get back in gameshape. I doubt we ever see him on a football field again. But I hope he proves me wrong.

COL - I don't have HBO so I don't really have an opinion about the latest Hard Knocks installment. What's yours?

AP - I absolutely loved it. I felt fortunate to have such an interesting perspective on my favorite team. I thought the show was filled with genuinely funny moments and very attactive player's wives. I enjoyed the unfettered access and felt that I actually gained some football insight into the team from watching it. It was very nice of NFL Films to tape the Chiefs, as a thank you to Lamar Hunt and all that he's done for football.

COL - If you could change one thing about the Chiefs this year (player, coach, scheme, etc.), what would it be?

AP - The Chiefs have a lot of needs so picking just one is difficult. Here's one a lot of people may not say- an explosive kick returner. We lost Dante Hall this year (and it didn't bother Chiefs fans) but he was a shell of his former self. I remember back to his heyday in the 2003 season when he was a threat to return a kick on every, single return. With the Chiefs offense playing as poorly as it has this year, better field position on punts and kickoffs would go a long way. Current kick returner Eddie Drummond, who was claimed off of waivers from Detroit, already fumbled in Week 1 and isn't anything special. After that, I would say throw Brodie Croyle in at QB.

COL - Final question, what's your prediction for this week's game against the Bears?

AP - Most people are saying its going to be a low scoring, grind it out game. And it more than likely will be that. But in the interest of keeping this interview fresh, I'll say that there will be more offense than anyone expects- 30 to 27, Chiefs. Crazy, I know.

Thanks again to Chris from Arrowheadpride.com for the interview.

The Scouting Report: San Diego Part 2

2007-09-05T16:10:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the first installment of the COL Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. To kick things off Rob from Bolthype.com, a San Diego Chargers blog, joins us as we look at our season opener.

Bolthype.com (BH) - At this point, it's clear that Rex Grossman has the physical tools to play the game; but he has been prone to making costly mistakes. Is this a do-or-die year for Rex Grossman? Has the team's success been in spite of Rex?

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - When you’re a Bears quarterback it seems like every year is a do-or-die season. For Rex in particular, the organization is putting a lot of faith in him and he needs to show that it’s not misplaced. He’s entering the final year of his contract, so his future as a Bear, even as a NFL quarterback, is riding on his performance this year.

That being said, with the experience that a full year as a starting quarterback brings and the weapons that the Bears have assembled around him this season I predict good things for Rex this year.

BH - The Bears are looking for more production on offense. Can Devin Hester at Wide Receiver and Greg Olsen at Tight End pay immediate dividends for the team, or are they going to be brought along more slowly?

COL - It’s going to be interesting to see how both these players develop through the season. With his speed and instincts Hester could be a great wide receiver, but he’s already an all-universe returner. With special teams contributing to so many of our victories last year, losing that edge is always a constant worry. I would look for the team to slowly work a few packages for Hester into each game, with that increasing through the season.

Olsen on the other hand is a different story. His size, speed, and ball-catching ability makes him an attractive target along the seam route that Rex favors so much. Stretching the field, whether in two tight end sets or Olsen in the slot, will open up downfield plays or clear things out for the running game. We’ll see what happens with his knee injury, but thankfully it wasn’t too severe.

BH -You guys signed Adam Archuleta in the offseason. Why?!

COL - The short answer, we ran out of players that date Playboy Playmates. Seriously though, Adam is a great fit for our defense. He’s a physical player that plays the run well and has good football instincts. He took a lot of crap during his time in Washington, but people forgot how good he actually was in a system that fit him – namely the Lovie Smith brand of Cover 2 that he played in St. Louis. Add to that the question marks that tend to follow Mike Brown after the injuries he’s had, and it just made sense.

BH - Some Bears players are feeling a little butt-hurt about the new Nike Zoom commercial featuring LT (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa1TM4PbEgI). Are Bears fans as heated about the portrayal of their team's defense? All Tomlinson was doing was the same thing he does to everybody!

COL - I don’t know about everybody else, but I know that got me going. When it comes down to it, we all see it for what it is - LaDanian visualizing what he wants to do before the ball is snapped. After the initial shock of seeing your team get embarrassed like that, most of the fans I know started to laugh at the names and numbers of the players in the commercial. “Wait, was that David Terrell out there?” Stuff like that. I will say this though, Philip Rivers may want to watch his back.

BH - When you think about the Chicago Bears defense, you think about a fast group of guys who fly to the ball and tackle. We all know about Brian Urlacher and what he brings to the field. Who is the most underrated guy on that defense?

COL - Honestly? I would have to say Hunter Hillenmeyer, at least from the point that he is the defensive player most under the radar. In our particular brand of defense, the Sam LB is the least glamorous position on the field. They’re supposed to close off that side and force everything towards the Will LB or downfield to the other areas of responsibility. Without him though, I don’t think the other players would get to shine.

BH - How is the NFC North going to shake out? Will the Detroit Lions make some noise in the division? Is Tarvaris Jackson and the Vikings a team to be feared? Will Green Bay push the Bears for the NFC North title?

COL - I think the North will be more competitive this year with the distance between the Bears and the other teams in the division shrinking.

Detroit has always been long on talent and short on production, and I don’t see them making any significant strides till next year.

With essentially a first year starting quarterback in Tarvaris Jackson, Minnesota’s offensive production is going to be put on Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor’s shoulders…and one dimensional team don’t usually fare very well in the league.

Green Bay is the most well rounded team of the bunch, and they’ll give us problems. They have a top notch LB corps, their secondary is improved with Al Harris and Charles Woodson and their line isn’t too bad either. I think Brett Favre is still dangerous, but much less so because he has no running game to back him up and his best receiver is Donald Driver.

That being said, the Bears will take the division handily again, followed by Green Bay, Minnesota and then Detroit.

BH - Gameday is coming up fast; Who on the offense should be keep an eye out for and what is your final score prediction?

COL - Keep an eye on the offensive line. They’re one of the best and oldest in the business. They didn’t do a very good job of opening up running lanes for Cedric during the preseason though, so that’s definitely going to be a concern. I would also keep an eye on our No. 2 receiver, Bernard Berrian. The Bears will look to test the Chargers secondary with Berrian’s speed in catching the deep pass.

In the end I think this game will be closer than people realize. I think the defense will play with an extra chip on their shoulder, the running game will wake up and the deep pass will be there for the taking. That said, it’s still a road game, but I’ll take the Bears 20 to 17.

Thanks to Rob and BoltHype for the interview. See the first half of the interview, when we asked the questions, earlier this week.

The Scouting Report: San Diego Chargers Part 1

2007-09-04T18:53:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the first installment of the COL Scouting Report. Each week this season, we're going to take the opportunity to interview an opposing team's blogger/podcaster/insider to gain insight into the team we're facing. To kick things off Rob from Bolthype.com, a San Diego Chargers blog, joins us as we look at our season opener.

Chicago's Offensive Line (COL) - How tired are you of Ron Burgunday and San Diego being referred to as a whale's vagina?

BoltHype.com (BH) - To be honest with you, I'm just glad that we are back on people's radars. For the longest time, San Diego was almost a forgotten little place on the bottom of the map. Now we are in the spotlight with an MLB team and a NFL team winning a pile full of games. Besides, Anchorman was funny as hell!

COL - The Bears travel well, so there will probably be a lot of Chicago fans visiting San Diego. Where should visitors, especially four handsome men such as ourselves, go while in San Diego?

BH - If you are into the nightlife, then the Gaslamp District is a must. Check it out here (http://www.gaslamp.org/). Lots of great restaurants, bars, and clubs. If you go to the right places, you are bound to run into a Charger or two (even a Bear, for that matter). Pacific Beach and Mission Beach is a great place to catch some good weather and sight-see (wink-wink). You'll definitely want to eat some authentic Mexican food while in town – San Diego is known in particular for our excellent fish tacos.

COL - Nationally, when it comes to the San Diego Chargers everyone knows Ladanian Tomlinson, Antonio Gates and Phillip Rivers. Aside from them, who else should football fans be watching when the Chargers offense is on the field and why?

BH - Well certainly the guy who most of the national media is looking to for a breakout season would be Vincent Jackson. He is expected to emerge as the team's first legit number-one receiver in some years. It'll be interesting to see who emerges from the pack, as the Chargers have a very talented group of receivers, especially with the addition of first round draft pick Craig Davis.

Of course, if you are a team with a suspect running game, watching Michael Turner is sure to make you drool. In case Bears fans forgot what he did to your team last year, watch till about 28 seconds into this highlight clip: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6aPPuuPeCc) Turner will be a free agent next season and he will attract many suitors.

COL - Both our teams have young quarterbacks entering their second full seasons as starters. Rivers threw for 3388 yards, 22 touchdowns and 9 interceptions in 2006. What strides do you see Rivers making this year and how do you compare him to the other young quarterbacks in the league?

BH - The best comparison I can make to Rivers would be Carson Palmer with a dash of Brett Favre. Palmer and Rivers were dominant college players who are the prototype for and NFL QB. They were both NFL-ready coming out of school. Both are natural born leaders who can command sophisticated offenses and are smart with the ball. Rivers has a splash of Favre with his gunslinger mentality (Rivers is not reckless though) and confidence to bring his team up from behind. Rivers is one of the best fourth quarter QBs in the game but I think Norv will work with Rivers in being more consistent for all four quarters. He'll also look to improve on Rivers' footwork and quick decision making.

COL - Norv Turner makes his return to San Diego, this time as head coach. When he was named head coach there was a collective "What the…?" around the country. Do the players and fans believe that Turner is the man to effectively use the talent around him to get the Chargers to the Super Bowl?

BH - Oh there is no doubt that Turner can get the job done. I ran a poll on BoltHype and almost 95 out of 100 votes cast showed confidence in Norv's ability to lead the team to a Super Bowl this year. As fans have had the opportunity to hear Norv Turner talk about the team and their goals for the season, confidence grew in the man's abilities as a head coach. He clearly understands the game and has more than enough weapons to win games. Players like Antonio Gates have expressed excitement in Turners' offensive schemes. Rivers is eager to improve as a QB and knows the track record Coach Turner has with quarterbacks. And LaDainian Tomlinson is already familiar with Turner and greatly respects the fact that Turners' resume includes Super Bowl victories and working with Hall Of Fame players.

COL - Who on the Bears makes you nervous? How do you feel the Bears offense matches up against the Chargers defense and vice-versa?

BH - Brian Urlacher is obviously a guy who presents the team with some problems. He is a versatile player who matches up well with everybody the Chargers have on offense. He is certainly a guy who we'll want as far away from the ball as possible. I'm expecting the offense to be well aware of where #54 is at all times.

Of course, the Bears' secondary is experienced and opportunistic, and that presents problems for what is a very young Chargers receiving corp. Tillman, Manning, and Vasher are going to want to make plays on the ball and it's those kinds of gambles that can either win or lose a game for you. And of course, the Bears have some athletic D-linemen who have speed and power so it'll be interesting to see how well they perform at containing our run game.

The Chargers are going to be the most dangerous offense in the league in 2007, so even if the Bears force a number of three and outs, the Chargers will still have their fair share of big plays to move the ball down field. And our kicker, Nate Kaeding, is one of the leagues' best, so as long as we can move the ball fairly well, we'll be in scoring territory often.

COL - Last season the Chargers had the best record in the league at 14-2 but lost in the first round of the play-offs. There was a lot of offseason movement, especially in the AFC. Are the Chargers still the team to beat in the AFC and how will the Chargers do overall this season (playoffs included)?

BH - I personally feel the Chargers are still the best team in the NFL. They are probably the best balanced team in football. With a top 5 offense, a potentially top 5 defense, and a stellar special teams, the Chargers can compete with anybody. Experience is something they lacked but with 2 playoff losses in 3 years, I think its time they take the next step and go deep into the post season. My prediction is 13-3 regular season record with a Super Bowl victory.

COL - The Chargers seem to have a knack with #1 draft picks. They had the #1 draft pick in both the 2001 and 2004 drafts. The 2001 pick was traded to Atlanta for the fifth pick, which ended up being Ladanian Tomlinson, and the 2004 pick was traded for Phillip Rivers, and eventually Shawne Merriman and Nate Kaeding. Be honest, wouldn't you rather have Michael Vick and Eli Manning right now?

BH - Hah! I guess those are two prime examples of the importance of investigating a player's character and passion for the game. Do your homework on a guy and you'll find out real quick what kind of baggage he carries and whether or not he is a natural leader. Watching a guy tear it up on Saturdays is the easy part. Timing a guy's 40 is even easier. Finding out what motivates a guy – what makes him tick – that's the hard part.

COL - Last question: What's your prediction for the Bears-Chargers game?

BH - I like the fact that San Diego is finally in a place where the Chargers have true home-field advantage. Seeing the points the team put up in the preseason without Ladainian Tomlinson even suiting up is highly encouraging. Ron Rivera will know the Chicago Bears scheme like the back of his hand. 31-13 Chargers.

Thanks to Rob and BoltHype for the interview. See the other half of the interview, when BoltHype askes the questions.

Reason #72 to Take a Day Off Work: Bears Training Camp

2007-08-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

For as big a Bears homer I can be, I've never actually been to training camp before. A few of us have been trying to get down there for the past few years but it's never worked out. There's always an excuse: Work is too busy, There are too many people there on weekends, My heart hurts - call an ambulance. Well , no excuses this year. My buddy Tron and I finally made it down there and I couldn't be more pleased with the decision. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to get geared up for the season or is just looking for something do while ditching out on work (unfortunately, camp already broke so you'll have to wait till next year).

Training Camp Highlights:

Linebackers and Linemen - Tron and I ended up setting up our chairs in between fields two and three. We also just happened to be right in front of the defensive linemen and linebacker practice areas.

Well, just as practice was getting started, the linemen started doing footwork drills. First up, Tommie Harris. First down, Tommie Harris. Tommie ended wiping out halfway through, much to the entertainment of the other linement (especially Alex Brown).

Next door the linebackers were doing punching drills and sprints. Afterward, they started doing pursuit drills. Briggs and Urlacher were up first, with Briggs barely evading the tag. After which, he ran over to us and, with a yell, dove on the the massive cusion they had set-up in front of us.

Well, once the linemen saw what they were doing all kinds of jawing started going back and forth between the two groups. The linemen were saying they wanted a piece of the linebackers, and sure enough, the LBs were happy to oblige.

Quarterbacks - Pep Hamilton had the QBs working on different things, but one of the more memorable was the fade route to the garbage can. Ten yards out, in between the hashes, you have drop back and make the floating pass to the corner of the endzone. It took a while, but only Orton and Pep were able to make it.

Tron and I took a bunch of pics. So if you didn't get a chance to make it to camp check it out and see what you were missing.

Bears Training Camp Survival Kit

2007-08-24T14:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, having gone to my first training camp, here's all the information to survive yours.

Pronounce the name right - It's BER-BO-NUS. I'm not going to have any of this French, cheese-eating, surrender-monkey crap in my backyard.

Go during the week - This should go without saying, I mean, you are trying to get out of work right? Plus, you have the added benefit of missing the crowds that would ordinarily be there during weekend practices. And by crowds I mean the family of six where the parents let the kids run amok because they've given up on any of them being contributing members of society, so it's better to let them get a head start on what they will be doing later in life - annoying others with their winning personality and complete disregard for other people and their property. Aaaaanyway, like I said, go during the week.

Get there early - Camp averaged six thousand people per practice this year and believe me, you want as many of them behind you once the gates open. The line forms at the east end of the parking lot, closest to the fields. Make sure you have chair, because you will need it while you're waiting in line. Once you get out of the parking lot there's a security check, kind of like Soldier Field (open your bag, spread your cheeks, lift up your sack, etc.). Then you go through the pro shop. So as you can see, if you didn't get to the head of the line initially, there are plenty of opportunities for those ahead of you to get distracted by a body cavity search or something shiny that spins.

Be prepared for kids - Well, I know we've talked about this already, but seriously, if you do not like kids, give serious consideration to not coming to training camp. I will say this, the pick-up football game that I watched while waiting in line was amazing. It was twenty on twenty, and the only person that could catch the ball was a 12 year old fat kid that just happened to be at the right place at the right time. On the other hand, trying to do commentary when everyone was wearing an Urlacher jersey was a bit difficult.

Choose your spot wisely - Ok, the set-up for day practices is off to the North (night practices are at the lit field immediately East of the parking lot). There are three full-sized football fields. They will usually tell you which fields the team is scrimmaging on as you are coming in (by the security screening area). Do yourself a favor, talk to the people behind the ropes. They are very friendly and they'll be the first to know if the field situation changes - which it did while we were there. Here are my suggestions for picking your spot:

Do you want to watch the scrimmage? Look for the field that has
cranes or cherry-pickers set-up on it. They set-up cameras up there to review
each practice. Whatever field they are on, this is where the scrimmage is going
to be.
Do you want to watch position practices? Look for equipment. Netting
on a goal post means kickers and probably special teams in general. Upside down
drums or garbage cans are mostly used by linebackers to set-up their gaps and
lanes. Right-side up drums or garbage cans set-up in the corners of the end
zones are for the quarterbacks.

Also, set-up your chairs and everything first, before getting up and going to the concession stand or to get autographs.

Smoke and drink enough before hand - Olivet Nazarene is not only dry, meaning no alcohol, but it is also smoke-free. I have to tell you, watching Tron chain smoke and drink cup after cup of coffee at the Denny's during lunch was like being back in college again but with more money and date rape.

Come prepared - Here's your checklist

Plenty of drinks and snacks

Folding chair

Binoculars

Roster sorted by numbers and another by name

Something to be signed

Something to sign with

Hot girl with a huge rack wearing a low-cut shirt (Honestly, this can only help you get autographs can't it?).

Getting autographs - You'll have two chances. First, when the players come out for practice and second when they leave. While a lot of the players will come out through the tunnel a few will choose to get to the field via golf cart at the north end of the practice area. As they came in, so shall they leave. You'll have more time to get autographs after the practice, but there will be more people waiting as well. As before, there will be those players that will leave the field to the north on golf carts, so if you can get them to come over to the line before they get on you have a decent shot at an autograph. The only thing I'll say in regards to this is, do not ask for autographs while practice is going on. There was a high school football team at the camp and there was an obnoxious player that kept yelling out to the players that were around us. Do not do this, you are just marking yourself as a douche bag. They're not paying attention to you and they're not going to come over, so please for the sake of everyone around you just shut up.

Getting out - I only have one more thing to add and that's about getting out of the practice fields. If you're in a hurry to get out keep this in mind. Fans form quite the autograph gauntlet that the players have to get through to go back inside. If you are stuck on the north side, you will have to wait until the last players go through and they open up the ropes. If you absolutely have to get a move on - like, say all the Web servers at your company go down at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon - do not do what I did which was wait. Go around the other way so that you can get out if you need to.

Have I forgotten anything? Let me know in the comments.

What the hell?

2007-08-06T10:02:00.000-05:00

What the hell is this nonsense? What kind of crack addled mind would come up with this shit?

Now obviously this is all pre-snap visualization of what LT wishes he would do. Again, obviously, he is a phenomenal athlete, but against the Bears D? Give me a fucking break. The Bears defense will have to account for him on every down, to not do so would be insane. But to think for a second that LT would be able to impose his will on this team to the extent that he does in the commercial goes beyond mere insanity, that's a death wish. I guarantee come game day, LT will be on the ground with a Bear on top of him reminding him of this commercial, and I don't think they're going to be complimenting him.

A couple of other things that bug me about this commercial. Where the hell is the Chicago counterpart? Did Nike somehow forget that Chicago is a bigger market than San Diego? (Don't get started on the whole, "LA is right there without a football team." Listen to me people, LA sports fans are the worse fans in the world. If San Diego was smart, they wouldn't allow LA "fans" to root for them. Remember, these are the same people that started the wave.) Why go and piss off a huge segment of fans by shitting on their team?

Second, what the hell is Tommie Harris doing in this commercial? At the very least, I think you fire your agent over something like this. To his credit though, Tommie did have this to say:

“It was good being out there, but I wasn’t too enthused with the role they had me playing,” Harris said. “I was getting run over. Well, not me actually, but they had LaDainian looking like a superstar, which he is, but not against our defense.”

Hopefully he got a few licks in during filming, but seriously, have some pride man. Show some loyalty. I don't think you'd ever see Steve McMichael embarass himself like that in a commercial. Hmm...maybe that wasn't the best example.

The Draft Part 1

2007-04-27T09:04:00.000-05:00

At least he's having a good offseason

2007-03-06T12:59:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been a month since the Super Bowl, but with everything going on it's felt like a year. We'll be back from hiatus in a couple of days to cover Lovie's contract extension, Chico leaving, TJ taking on Manhattan and Lance's issues with ~~the rest of *Nsync~~ the Bears organization.

Until then, click on Urlacher's photo above to see what he's smiling about.

Season 1, Episode 22

2007-02-09T14:01:00.001-06:00

Top Reasons to Look Forward to Next Season

2007-02-08T13:59:00.000-06:00

Here is our list, in no particular order, of 10 things Bears fans can look forward to next season:

Brian Urlacher and Olin Kreutz are pissed. If there were any two people in the world I wouldn’t want pissed at me it would be those two guys. Would you want to be on the opposite side of the field from them come next season? (Ray Lewis is also on this list because he seems like he’s pissed all the time. That and he’s a bit stabby…and a bit shooty.)
We’re a young team. The organization did a good job of building this team through the draft. Look at the players we have drafted in just the last three years:

• Daniel Manning
• Devin Hester
• Mark Anderson
• Cedric Benson
• Mark Bradley
• Chris Harris
• Tommie Harris
• Tank Johnson
• Bernard Berrian (to be referred to as Bernarrian from now on)
• Nathan Vasher

Ten impact players that we will have around for a while. That’s not even looking at the players that Angelo locked into longer term deals. Barring injury, or in Tank’s case incarceration, this team is going to be good for a long time.
Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith are both getting contract extensions. Having a GM and a head coach that are on the same page and don’t butt heads is a rare thing in the NFL, but when you find it you are usually headed for success. While I’m sure there are still monumental egos in the mix here, they both let the other do what they do best and stay out of each other’s hair.
We got to the Super Bowl without Tommie Harris and Mike Brown. Can you imagine what we would have been able to do with them there? As an added bonus, the playing time guys got in relief of those two will be invaluable going into next year.

Is there any way we could preemptively injure Mike Brown during the off season? Maybe with an injury already under his belt he can be available for the entire season next time.
We’re still in the NFC North. Seriously, have you seen these guys? The chances we’ll be able to be able to make it to the playoffs and repeat as division champs are monumentally better because our division sucks. The NFC North is so bad I heard a rumor they were moving Detroit to be part of NFL Europe. Not the team mind you, the entire city.
We’ll find out what Rex is really made out of. He was wildly inconsistent this year. If you average his performances out he was slightly above mediocre. At best, he’ll learn from this past year and be even better and more consistent next year. At worst (see Cade McNown) we’ll know he can’t cut it and we’ll all be able to move on and pretend like it never happened.
We’ll be the best dressed fans in league. With all the frenzy surrounding the Super bowl dying down, all that over stocked Bears merchandise will be going on sale.|
We’ve gotten farther every year under Lovie. In his first year the Bears went 5-11 finishing fourth in the division. In 2005, we went 11-5, took the division and earned a first round bye. This year, we went 13-3, took the division, were best in conference, earned the bye and made it to the Super Bowl. In 2007, Lovie could get this team back to the Super Bowl and win it. Then after that, I say we send him off to North Korea or Iran to solve our problems there.
Did I mention that Urlacher and Kreutz are pissed?
Barring incarceration or death, Chicago’s Offensive Line will be back for another season.

So what are you looking forward to?

Thank you

2007-02-08T13:50:00.000-06:00

I’ve been searching for a way to encapsulate everything that’s been going on the past few days since the game, and there really isn’t an adequate way to do that. Everyone seems to be dealing with things differently. The people that I’ve been running into have fallen into one of three groups,

• the dazed and confused that wander the city mumbling something about Grossman and Miami
• the haters that said the Bears never had a chance
• and those that have moved on.

I’m not quite ready to move on to that third group, mostly because there are too many in the second group that require a beating.

What can you say to a team that brought you to the brink of sport’s highest peak, but in the end failed to deliver? After much consternation (read: heavy drinking, swearing, and throwing of objects that I now have to replace) only one sentiment remains, thanks.

Thank you to the team that exceeded expectations during the first quarter of the year.

Thank you for defining “roller coaster of emotion” in Arizona.

Thank you to the team that showed the Second City could come first in the Big Apple.

Most importantly though, thank you to a team that gave a city something to rally behind…even if that something was making fun of New Orleans Saints fans.

So to the 2006 Bears, the remains of my liver and the few brain cells that I haven’t killed through the season thank you for everything you have given us. What’s left of me will be back to cheer you on next year. With any luck, you’ll be hoisting the Lombardi Trophy this time in '08 in Arizona and we’ll be there cheering you on.

Fuck the Colts

2007-02-05T13:39:00.000-06:00

Oh, shit. Somebody’s going to die.

Once the world starts making sense again I’ll start posting again. At the very least, we’ll do our final show of the season later this week. Until then here's a picture of Jessica Alba playing football in a bikini to cheer everyone up.

Reasons I am confident the Bears will win the Super Bowl

2007-02-03T16:02:00.000-06:00

1) As has been our tradition, I went to the store to pick up a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos prior to recording this week's show. I ended up with the last bag in the store. Good sign? I think so.

2) The Powder Puff Girl and I were hanging out and having a few M&M’s. She reached in blindly and pulled out a blue and orange pair. Cool, right? Then I went in and did the same thing. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

3) This article from the Wall Street Journal . I know, the Wall Street Journal’s sports coverage isn’t quite up to par with ESPN, but Allen brings up some interesting points. In case you don’t have a WSJ login I’ll summarize.

• 18 of the last 22 Super Bowl champions allowed fewer regular-season points than their opponent. Advantage: Bears (255 points allowed vs. the Colts 360)
• No team has allowed more than 340 points in the regular season and gone on to win the Super Bowl. Advantage: Bears (Colts allowed 360)
• The team with the better points-scored-to-points-allowed ratio, known as P-wins, has won 81.8% of Super Bowls since SB XIX. Advantage: Bears (12.36 P-wins vs. the Colts 9.59)

So, not only does Allen think the Bears have a chance, but according to these numbers they should be favored.

4) Only one ESPN analyst has chosen the Bears to win the Super Bowl. The last time they did that we beat New Orleans.

5) Rex has been under siege by the media for the past two weeks. So far this season, he’s always played best when the pressure was the highest. He’s only screwed up when the scrutiny shifts off of him onto another player.

6) My Olin Kreutz jersey stopped a bullet last night while I was out at the bars.

Ok, so maybe that last one isn’t true, but the rest are and that’s why I’m confident that the Bears can beat the Colts this Sunday.

Season 1, Episode 21

2007-02-02T15:43:00.001-06:00

Approaching Storm to Hit Miami

2007-02-01T16:59:00.000-06:00

The ’06 Bears don’t need to be better than the ’85 Bears

2007-02-01T15:06:00.000-06:00

The ’85 Bears cast a long shadow in this city. They were the most confident, charistmatic, sports personalities this city has ever seen (and yes, I’m counting Michael Jordan in that estimation). Across town you can see the vestiges of the old guard. Otis Wilson has been appearing all over town. Mike Singletary has been in the mix for numerous head coaching jobs. Da Coach has steadily maintained his thrown atop the Chicago sports Mt. Olympus through numerous appearances on ESPN, radio and local TV outlets.

For the current Bears, they’re like the overachieving older brother that everyone loves. They’ll always be compared to them no matter how hard they try. The ’85 Bears are the yard stick against which all sports franchises in the city are compared and the current crop of Bears have each dealt with that comparison in their own way. Thomas Jones pays due respect to his predecessors, praising their accomplishments and hoping to continue the tradition. Urlacher wishes people would stop the comparisons and recognize the current team’s distinct personality. In the end that may be too tall an order.

The ’85 Bears were just too bombastic, too larger than life. For Pete’s sake, these are the guys that recorded the Super Bowl Shuffle the night after their first, and only, loss (fucking Dan Marino).

What’s a Bear to do? Win the damn game. The reason Chicago is so fixated on the ’85 Bears is because they showed us that the Second City could still come first. Win the game this Sunday and I guarantee, even Brad Maynard could open a successful restaurant in this town. Bring us back a championship and you guys will never be compared to the ’85 Bears again.

In fact, if they wanted to put all doubts and comparisons aside, bring us a dynasty. Yeah, I said it, a dynasty, one to rival the vaunted Patriots, Steelers and Cowboys. Enough Super Bowl trophies that we can rename it after Papa Bear. Enough wins that Lovie will be called a football genius.

Ok, so maybe the dynasty talk is going a bit overboard. They just really just need this one win to pull our adoration away from the ’85 Bears. Do that and they’re set, because in the end they don’t need to be better than the ’85 Bears, they just need to be better than the ’06 Colts.

Super Bowl XLI Drinking Game

2007-02-01T11:14:00.000-06:00

While I’m sure Chicago fans need no additional reasons to drink, we here at Chicago’s Offensive Line would like to come to the aid of casual fans, significant others, and fans of other teams this Sunday with our Super Bowl XLI edition drinking game.

If you are not already a Bears fan, and are attending a Super Bowl party, we highly recommend that you play this game so that 1) you can follow the game as intensely as those around you, 2) it gives you something to do so that you aren’t annoying real Bears fans, 3) you have an adequate coping mechanism for dealing with the people you are surrounded by.

Now that you’re convinced this is a good idea, remember, drink a lot, drink often, and drink responsibly (I’d like to make it home that night).

Finish your beer every time the Bears score.
Finish your beer every time the Bears intercept Peyton Manning.
Take a shot every time you see Kyle Orton.
Finish your beer every time the Bears intercept Peyton Manning.
Drink every time the announcers say Lovie or Tony is a black/african-american coach.
Drink every time announcers say Tank and gun in the same sentence.
Drink every time you wish Bob Costas was announcing the game.
Take a shot to the groin every time you wish Joe Buck was announcing the game.
Finish your beer each time the amazing, wonderful, downtrodden, miraculous, law-abiding, handsome, glorious, pleasant-smelling, all-American, should-have-been-NFC Champion Saints are mentioned.
Drink each time an announcer makes a bad pun.
Drink a bottle of whiskey each time Dungy or Smith shows emotion.
Drink each time the announcers say “It’ll depend on the spot.”
Shotgun a beer if the Bears convert a fourth down.
Drink every time announcers say Grossman and “embattled quarterback” in the same sentence.
Drink every time announcers refer to the Colts/Patriots rivalry.
Drink every last drop of alcohol at your location if the Colts win the game.
Drink every last drop of alcohol at your location if the Bears win the game.

2007 Media Day

2007-01-31T17:37:00.000-06:00

How the hell does the NFL justify not giving us passes to media day? The Offensive Line is a fully accredited (read: occasionally lucid) news source for millions (read: dozens) of dedicated football fans. We should've been among the horde of media members peppering NFL stars with inane questions. I should've had a chance to ask Brad Maynard about his pregame rituals. G-Spot should've been able to ask Chris Harris how to grow such a weak goatee. Joel should've been able to ask Joe Buck how he comes up with all those insightful comments. Frankly, I'm disgusted. If the NFL keeps this up, we're switching to tennis.

Be An Athletic Supporter

2007-01-30T16:41:00.000-06:00

Now is our time to mimic undergarments. Lift and separate, protect, cradle, but mostly, make it possible for our loved ones to have a stress free couple of weeks.

You see, everyone is focused on how exciting it is that the Bears have made it to the big dance for the first time in 21 years. We must remember that all this excitement comes at a cost. We must hope for the best and prepare for the worst here, people. Ladies, this is no time to try to make your guy start cleaning up after himself. Sure, that pizza's been sitting in the living room for a couple of weeks. It can wait a couple more. And guys, now is not the time to ask your lady to start understanding the importance of the cover 2 defense. There's no need for extra drama. We've got Tank Johnson for that.

The excitement level in the city has reached a fever pitch, and I've got a distinct feeling of impending doom as years worth of bratwurst hardened arteries are going to be asked to do more work than they have in over two decades. Win or lose, the game is going to be exciting. The media coverage before the game is going to be exciting, the next two weeks of freezing temperatures and snow will be exciting, shoveling said snow will be exciting, watching paint dry will be exciting. And more than ever, we will need each other. And we will need beer. It may be the only way we make it to February 5th.

So, be supportive. Have Kleenex ready for either outcome (that includes you this time guys). You never know when that next kick in the balls might come, and now is our time to be the cup.

-The Powderpuff Girl

Taking whoring to an entirely new level

2007-01-29T13:23:00.000-06:00

In the ever expanding search for the limits of whoredome, Sarah Spain has distinguished herself as a trailblazer. By now I’m sure you’ve heard of Sarah. She’s the hot, top heavy, twenty-something “marketer” (I know, it’s surely a combination for failure) that put herself up for auction on eBay, with the winner being able to take her to the Super Bowl with them. In a break from traditional whoredome, she says she only wants to go to the game and isn’t interested in hooking up with the winner *wink-wink-nudge-nudge*.

Now it really isn’t the fact that she put herself up for auction that has earned her the trailblazer moniker. In reality, she’s just doing what any good business person would, taking a pre-existing business model and applying it to a new medium. What has my head spinning is the fact that they are now corporately sponsored.

That’s right, you heard me. Unilever’s Axe Body Spray has agreed to give her four Super Bowl tickets – one for her and one for each of her two friends. But Joel you ask, “What happened to the fourth ticket?” This is where things get kicked up to another level. Now she’s expecting you guys to whore yourself out for a chance to go with them.

She's asking for all interested parties to e-mail her or contact her at her MySpace page and she'll choose from there. There are a list of conditions for eligibility but basically it comes down to this: tall, good-looking, male, 20-something year old, Lincoln Park resident, Bears fan. Which...wait a sec, that sounds oddly like the members of Chicago's Offensive Line. So, basically she wants us and you guys have no chance.

This is a master stroke. To go from whorer to whoree (or should that be the other way around?) in just a matter of days is impressive. To have corporate sponsorship and tickets to the Super Bowl on top of it is nothing short of amazing.

So, to summarize:

Hot 26 year old whores herself online to get Super Bowl tickets

Multinational company whores itself out to get in on national exposure by providing Super Bowl tickets

Men everywhere are whoring themselves out to her in the hopes of a “Dear Penthouse Forum” experience and getting to go to the Super Bowl.

Step 3: Profit (The underwear gnomes would be proud)

So Sarah Spain, for your dedication to whoredome we here at Chicago’s Offensive Line salute you – just not with our hands.

Season 1, Episode 20

2007-01-26T12:10:00.000-06:00

All-Time Super Bowl Teams

2007-01-25T12:42:00.000-06:00

ESPN has an article where they rank the 80 Super Bowl teams from worst to first.

The author uses lots of stats to level the field and determine which teams were the most dominant. I like some of the conculsions, such as the 1972 Dolphins not cracking the top five. Going undefeated is a statistical anomoly, not a sure sign of being the best ever. On the other hand, how are the 1989 49ers ranked ahead of the 1985 Bears? The Bears scored more points, allowed fewer points, and dominated the postseason at least as much as San Francisco did (point differential doesn't mean much when both teams rout every opponent). The 49ers may have had more talent, but no scheme (including Bill Walsh's much-imitated West Coast Offense) has ever dominated like the Bears' 46 Defense. I'll take the Bears somewhat-shaky pass passing game along with their great running game and brilliant defense.

Why does that sound so familiar?

Be careful Tank, Horatio is waiting for you.

2007-01-24T11:46:00.000-06:00

Amongst all the fans’ back slapping, cock stroking, and general merriment over the Bears’ conference championship, the business of winning the Super Bowl took another step forward yesterday, this time in the Skokie courtroom of Judge John J. Moran.

Now that the Bears have secured a spot in the Super Bowl, the question remained, “Would Tank be able to join them?” Well, Judge Moran provided the answer, allowing Tank to leave the state and travel with the team down to Miami. Additionally, there were no restrictions placed on his activities while down there, so essentially he’s a free man. The judge added, “I assume he knows there won't be any violations of the law -- or dire consequences will result.”

I feel good about this. Miami isn’t like Detroit*, where the women are hot, the night life is jumping, and trouble comes looking for you. Miami is where people go to ~~die~~ retire. It’s all shuffleboard and bingo down there. Aside from the occasional election protest, it’s all smooth sailing down on South Beach. A lack of carbs may be the only problem Tank runs into down there.

Now that Tank’s situation is over we can move on to more important topics like how Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy are the first two robots to coach their teams to a Super Bowl.

*On the other hand, Detroit does have Robocop. Then again, Miami has Horatio Cane so, in the end, I’d call that one a tie.

BEARS WIN!!!

2007-01-21T17:32:00.000-06:00

I don't know what else to say. After the jump you can find the game day diary as the game went on. Miami here we come!

1:00 pm

Just got home and finished up some Hawaiian BBQ, sent a few insults to G-spot and Jared who are at the game, and now I'm sitting infront of the TV for Fox's pregame show. As a side note, if you're looking for good BBQ I have to recommend Aloha Grill on Clark St. I’m trying to limit myself to only once a month, otherwise I'd probably be there a couple times a week. I'd go with the BBQ Beef plate, mmmm, mmm good.

1:19

Three things I'm already tired of 1) Saint's feel good story. Can they make us feel any more guilty for rooting for Chicago? 2) Can Manning beat Brady? Is this Manning's biggest game of his career. 3) Joe Buck – seriously does he still have to be alive right now?

1:27

Troy Aikman made it to the on field set without a concussion.

1:31

I can't tell which commercial is more over played, the Nissan Altima or the Chevy "This is our country." I can definitely tell you that the Chevy one is ten million times more annoying. ON the other end of the spectrum is the Miller High Life commercials. Love 'em. 11.50 for a hamburger? Y'all must be crazy.

1:41

If I have to see grandma say that she was looking up sexual health information on WebMD I'm going to shoot myself.

1:46

Here we go with the New Orleans Katrina Saints feel good story segment. I think I hate "Who Dat!" now ranks in my top three of opposing team cheers. 1) Tiger Bait – LSU, 2) Who Dat! – New Orleans Saints, 3) "Who Dey" – Cincinnati Bengals.

1:53

What is with Chris Doughtry? He has weird facial hair and he's rocking a leather coat in 20 degree weather. Decent rendition of the National Anthem though. Back to the facial hair, maybe it's because I can't grow any, but why the hell would you go with the lone porkchop sideburns? You were on American Idol, like I don't already have enough to make fun of you with.

1:58

How gay is Joe buck's turtleneck? They have flame decals on the overhead cam. I'm not sure what to do with that, but I’m going to put that out there.

2:05

Dome teams are 0-9 on the road in the NFC championship since 1970. Why does it seem to be that they're trying to jinx the Saints into winning.

-----------------------

1st Quarter

13:37

The field looks slippery. Everyone looks a bit timid making cuts out there. You have to expect that the field is only going to get worse as the game goes on. This could end up hinging on how well either team runs and defends the run. The ball is going to be taken out of the QBs hands.

11:40

…and then what do the Bears do? Throw on two of their first three plays. Grossman however showed a little bit of mobility to avoid a sack.

8:06 - 2:22

Mark Anderson is a stud. Just picked up a sack on Brees and forced a fumble. Now if they would have only fallen on the ball we would have had the ball on the Saints 40.

7;12 – 2:25

Grossman has started 0 for 4 to start the game. This si going to be a long day. He's under thrown the long ball to Bernarian, thrown behind Moose. Why aren' they running the ball more?

5:25 2:32

Chris Harris forces a fumble vasher runs it back to the Saints 35. That is exactly the kind of spark the Bears needed. And now Turner is bringing in Cedric who I think is going to do much better on this field against these defensive players.

:44

The Bears went for it on fourth down and got it. On the ensuing possession they got shut out of the endzone. Grossman's mechanics are going out of the window.

:33

Ensuing k8ickoff it looks like the Bears recovered a turnover. Adrian Peterson is having a huge special teams game, teaming up with Ayanbadejo for the potential strip. The Saints challenged since there's a chance his #84 lewisknee was down before the ball came out.

The challenge is not successful, the Bears have the ball on the 30

Is it me or is Sean Payton kind of a bitch? He looks like my co-worker's 12 year old son. I'm expecting his mom to come out and tell him to put on a hat.

2nd Quarter

I'm already into my fourth beer. I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the end of the game without breaking into the Jack and Cokes.

15:00

Benson is running really well right now. Could this be the turning point in the Jones Benson saga?

12:17

The Bears forced a three and out after an offensive pass interference call. The D Line is fired up, and luckily they sat on the bench most of the first quarter. If they continue to get pressure on Drew Brees the way they have been I'll take what the Bears offense is giving us right now.

10:50

Rex finally threw a pretty pass to Clark and the Benson pounded up the middle. The field is definitely playing to Ced's favor.

Ok, Robbie Gould just hit his third field goal of the game. Is it me or is anyone else worried that we keep getting turned away from the endzone? I really hope this isn't going to come back and bite us on the ass. It could be 21-0 right now, but instead it's 9-0.

6:27 – 3:11

The Bears haven't been able to get a hand on Brees as much in the second as they were in the first, but they have been able to tackle receivers before they can break off a run. After they forced a punt the look on Reggie Bush's face was like the guy at the bar that thinks he should be able to go home with any girl in the joint but he keeps getting shut down.

I've never watched Prison Break before, but the Powderpuff girl seems to be really into it. Something about Wentworth Miller, or something.

2:57

The Bears have run for a hundred yards and it isn't even the end of the first half yet.

1:56

The first touchdown for the Bears. They ran it seven straight times with Jones. So much for starting to lean with Benson. Damn, 69 yards with Jones on that drive. The Saints couldn’t' do shit against that draw.

:46

Bad footing on Tillman's part let Colston score the Saint's first touchdown. Tillman looks upset, but to me, not upset enough. He's done a good job so far today on Colston, but as the Saint's leading receiver Peanut has to be better.

What the hell happened at the end of the first half? First Rex almost takes off for the locker room with 25 seconds left to play, then they run a play and he throws it out of bounds, and then they kneel. What the hell is going on?

Halftime

I'm going on the record with this. I was very upset when Jim Brown left Fox for CBS. I liked the way he held his own with the guys, but mostly I liked the way it kept Joe Buck away from my screen for as long as possible. Kurt Mennifield is good in terms of the chemistry with the rest of the crew, as long as Terry has taken his Zoloft. Is there any way we can have him on the pregame show all the time? Seriously, I'll pay to have this put into action. Joe Buck is an annoying fuck that goes with the most sentimental story at that moment and can't even tell which is longer, 5/8 or ½. Plus with that turtle neck on he looks like Deter from SNL.

3rd Quarter

13:24

The Saints are forcing the game into Rex's hands. They're starting to stack the line and wrap up runners. Obviously, being burned by the run as much as they were at the end of the first half they don't want a repeat of that, hence putting 7-8 men in the box. Hopefully Rex will be able to take advantage of any one on one match-ups, but I think I'm going to need more beer if that's going to happen.

12:20

Bush just burned us for an 85 yard touchdown. Daniel Manning failed to make a tackle in the open field to allow the score. I don't know how many blown coverages there were, but I do know that he taunted Urlacher and the rest of the defense players in pursuit. That will not end well for him. I have to say though, it was a great play call on the part of the Saints.

That play was from deep in Saints territory, will it be the turning point in the momentum of the game?

11:45

Bears just went three out. One stuffed run and two dropped passes. I'm going to put one of those drops on Grossman. It's hard to throw a ball in the cold, but he needs to snap that ball down, because everything is sailing. Unfortunately, that usually only happens to Rex if his mechanics fly out the window and he starts throwing out of his back foot. He's going to have to start making some of those passes if he's going to contribute to this game.

6:57

Kondiff just missed the go ahead field goal. It's a good momentum killer.

The Saints are just continuing to stuff the run, playing a lot of one-on-one in coverage. Ron Turner needs to start figuring out what to do with Grossman. As much as I hate to say it, but the game is in his hands right now.

5?27

That last series may have been the turning point for the Bears defense. They just forced a safety on an intentional grouding penalty, after Maynard kicked a hell of a punt putting the Saints inside their five yard line.

1:00

It's finally sunk in that the winner of this game is going to the Super Bowl. I don't know why it has taken this long for it to do so, but man I hope that the Bears win this.

4th Quarter

14:23

Rex just threw a bomb to Bernarian, that he picked up on the ground behind two Saints defenders, got up and went in for the touchdown backwards. That catch was huge. Bernarian had ridiculous concentration on that catch.

13:03
13:41

Ogunleye just got the turn over. You can feel momentum starting to move towards the Bears. I don't know how many times I can say the momentum has shifted bit I'll keep doing it damnit.

We are riding Benson and Jones to the endzone this game. Benson just busted a run straight through the defensive line, carried three Saints players, and scored.

9:15

I don't know that Brad Maynard is really the Bears' sexiest player, but I will say that he is a hell of a punter. He pinned the Saints back inside the ten multiple times this game, and you can't say enough for his performance especially considering his performance last year against the Panthers.

4:19

Put another one up on the board. Jones just reversed field for a touchdown.

Season 1, Episode 19

2007-01-19T13:38:00.000-06:00

The Big O, or Why the Bears Need Kyle Orton

2007-01-17T16:51:00.000-06:00

Now obviously we can sit here and cover all the gameday strategies that will lead one team to victory and the other into the arms of their collective wives, girlfriends, mothers, prostitutes, or all of the above. While regurgitating the X’s and O’s can be gratifying in a masturbatory kind of way, there’s a forgotten O that could lead to a sure Chicago Bears victory this Sunday, and that O is Orton.

You remember him don’t you? Kyle Orton, the rookie quarterback that lead the Bears to 10 victories last season? The quarterback that was unceremoniously relegated to the third string position this year. Well, surprisingly enough, he’s still on the team and could be doing much more than standing on the sidelines holding a clipboard.

We all remember Neckbeard’s heydays as the Bears starting quarterback. There was something you could always count on in Kyle, and no it wasn’t the five yard passes or the textbook handoffs. No, it was more like this:

And this:

And even this:

So Kyle, what we need you to do this week is obvious. When the Saints arrive in Chicago Friday night be a good Purdue alumnus and invite Drew Brees out for a night on the town. Show him a good time, perhaps steaks at Gibson’s and then after dinner drinks at the Ice Bar perhaps?

Ok, so perhaps getting him shot would not be in anyone's best interest. How about a night of chops and drinks at Ditka's and then take him over to the World Famous Admiral Theater for some after dinner entertainment? Drew's charitable side has been showcased since arriving in New Orleans, so what better charity than helping a few girls through college. Finish that off with drinks at Rockit and you'll have him right where you want him.

Kyle, you're the true Pride of Purdue, and this is your chance to prove it. We all know you can party and there's no way Drew can break it down like you. When he finally passes out, grab your belt sander and wipe out that birth mark. Like Samson's hair, this is obviously his source power. Once that is complete the Bears victory will be in hand and you'll have done your duty.

I know you've probably felt a bit overlooked this season, what with the demotion and all the attention Rex has been getting, but this is your chance to contribute to the team. Don't let a little thing like aggrevated assault get between you and victory. In the end it's up to you, are you a man or merely a neck beard?

Season 1, Episode 18

2007-01-15T15:14:00.001-06:00

Predictions for the Game

2007-01-12T15:17:00.000-06:00

The rest of the squad is saving up their mojo for this Sunday when we will record during the Bears game. Not wanting our prognostication skills to rust I asked the guys to send me their predictions for the game and a key to the Bears winning the game. Here's what they said...

Garrett:

Final score: negative infinity to intinity
Winner: Bears
Key to the game: A proof showing that infinity and negative infinity exists

Jon:

Final score: 16-27
Winner: Bears
Key to the game: The Bears running game.

Joel:

Finale score: 16-24
Winner: Bears
Key to game: How long the hookers we sent to Matt Hasselbeck's hotel room keep him up Saturday night.

Season 1, Episode 17a

2007-01-12T15:14:00.000-06:00

Caption this Sexy Rexy Pose

2007-01-12T15:10:00.000-06:00

Joel: Remember kids, if you're Rexually active, always wear protection.

Jon: So that's why these pants have a zipper in back.

Season 1, Episode 17

2007-01-06T10:02:00.000-06:00

Because Heidi never gave me a second chance

2007-01-05T16:55:00.000-06:00

"In this league at this position, you have to bring it every single week no matter what, in the situation it felt like I was going to play about a half, it's the last game, New Year's Eve, and there were so many factors that brought my focus away from what is actually important…"

-Rex Grossman on his preparation prior to the season finale against Green Bay

Something about this whole situation has been bugging me. A lot has been made of 1) Rex’s performance on New Year’s Eve and 2) his admission that he just didn’t prepare the way he knows he should have prior to the game. Stating the obvious, you don’t garner support from your fan base or the media by putting up a 0.0 passer rating during the last regular season game heading into the playoffs. On top of that, admitting that you put forth anything less than 100 percent effort when you’re being paid millions of dollars to play a game will not win you any friends.

That though, isn’t what’s bothering me. So what is my problem with all of this? The answer is twofold, really.

First, having been to the game on New Year’s Eve I have a serious issue with the fans’ reaction to Grossman’s performance and Griese’s appearance in the Green Bay game. I can’t speak to how NBC covered it, but being at the stadium the boos and then the cheers for Griese sent chills down my spine. (Granted, those chills could have been the shakes, caused by the stadium cutting off alcohol, but I digress.)

Does anyone honestly believe that Lovie is going to make a change at the starting QB position? Because of the crowds’ booing no less? He let Grossman play through a five game rough patch and didn’t waiver, what’s going to make him start now? Everyone in that stadium knew that, barring injury, Rex was going to start for us in the Divisional playoff game (and if they deny it they’re lying). How is making his last football memory be one of every fan at Soldier Field booing him going to help anything?

Second, something about his admission just hasn’t sat right with me since I heard it and I think I finally know what it is. I’ve given this kind of excuse before. Oddly enough our two situations mirrored each other quite closely, except in my case it was that I couldn’t bring it a sixteenth time that night with the nymphomaniac, Victoria’s Secret model. In both our cases, in the end it just comes down to knowing you could have done a better job but you didn’t and you may not get another shot to make things right.

By admitting that you knew better, you’ve lost the trust and respect of the other person, whether it’s the nympho, the fans, or the team, because in the back of their mind they’ll always wonder if you take this as seriously as they do. If you do get another chance, you know you won’t waste it but it’ll require a lot of time, hard work, and possibly some goat play to win them back.

Luckily Rex is going to get another chance to make things right this weekend. Will he do it? It’s anyone’s guess, but if he treats the opportunity the same way I would treat Heidi… well, let’s just say it’ll take them a week to get Soldier Field to shit straight again.

Season 1, Episode 16

2006-12-22T12:22:00.000-06:00

Season 1, The Party

2006-12-20T17:26:00.000-06:00

This may have been more timely if it was posted immediately after the party, considering all the Tank Johnson talk. But if you listen to the clip and think that I was in any condition to use anything more than a Fisher Price plastic calculator you're drunker than I've ever been. As for all the additional audio recorded by our other correspondents, Courtney, Jon and Melissa's cleavage, I would have included it had you guys remembered to turn the mic on.

The Party

2006-12-19T12:43:00.000-06:00

Well, the party went off without a hitch. Thanks to everyone that came out and celebrated the holidays and the success of the show with us. The compliments and constructive criticism were much appreciated and completely forgotten by the end of the night. Thanks to Dave from the JV squad, who came late and got kicked out early. You have to hand it to him, urinating on the waitress station at the main bar is a hell of a way to go out.

I'm still working on the audio, but I figured I'd at least get these pictures up. So without further ado...

Jared, Jon and Joel

Joel and Jared

Joel and the Powder Puff Girl

Joel and someone that's a little bit early for spring training. I don't know if you can see it, but he has Cubs patches sewn on to his blazer, plus a big Cubs C on the back. Funny thing about him, I saw him Monday night at a bus stop on the north side and he had on a Bears blazer with just as many patches sewn in. I'm not sure what to do with that information but there you go.

Lizanne and the rest of the Sedgwick's staff put up with all of our bullshit and hopefully came away with less emotional scarring than the rest of us.

Listeners Skull Cap Guy and Joe G from Chicago

Listeners Julie, Mike and Denise from Chicago

The Teen Hearthrob of SexualThunder.com fame does not like it when you hit on his fiancee.

A listener discusses the Cover 2 defense with Jon. Either than or he's hitting on him, which is pretty much the same thing.

That would be Jon's wife and a guy that certainly isn't Jon, in her crotch.

The rest of the JV squad that didn't get kicked out that night.

Jon is just so sexy isn't he? If he was any better looking he'd be Filipino.

Speaking of which, here I am with G-Spot's girlfriend.

G-Spot and Joe G, not a bad looking couple.

I asked Jared to show his Prince Albert but this is all I got.

Boobs

The Powder Puff Girl with her friend Erin.

Thomas Jones collects donations for the needy; Scares children with coat

2006-12-19T11:00:00.000-06:00

Thomas Jones, Ruben Brown and Anthony Oakley were celebrity bell ringers for The Salvation Army outside of Macy's State Street location today. All three players were very gracious in interacting with their fans. The same can not be said for the local media who pretty much got in my way the entire time. Not to mention they blocked the donation kettle. Ok so I elbowed a 65 year old grandmother to get these pictures, but that's obviously not the same thing. Why? Because I drive a Dodge Stratus, that's why. People are afraid of me because I can do 100 push-ups in twenty minutes. On top of that and my devastating charm, nothing can stop me...except for maybe TJ's coat.

What the hell is that thing? I thought it started raining out but it was really the tears of the children right next to me, that and the blood from my own eyes.

More pictures after the link.

Season 1, Episode 15

2006-12-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

Start from new template

2006-12-11T16:11:00.000-06:00

Apparently everyone in the sports media got a book of sports article templates except for us. I did manage to steal Joe Buck’s copy and take down this interesting entry…

The _________________ are the team to beat in the NFC.

After their last performance, you’d have to say that (insert NFC team name here) are the team to beat in the NFC right now. The play they are getting from quarterback (insert quarterback name here), after all the turmoil of the (choose at least one: early season injury, preseason injury, quarterback controversy and/or trade), is nothing short of spectacular. He really is showing the faith placed in him by the coaching staff is well founded. Not to mention that he is making everyone around him play better. Look at the rookie (insert offensive position here), (insert offensive rookie name here) and veteran (insert offensive position here), (insert offensive player name here). They are playing all out and are major factors in why this team may represent the NFC in the Super Bowl.

Not to be out done, the defense is also making teams sit up and take notice. The (insert team name) are playing their best ball right now, confusing opposing quarterbacks by disguising their coverages, being opportunistic and capitalizing when mistakes are made. How (insert defensive position here) (insert defensive name here) isn’t higher in the Pro Bowl voting is beyond us, but he is definitely held in high regard by this coaching staff. The funny thing is, we probably wouldn’t even be talking about him if it wasn’t for the loss of (insert defensive player name here) due to his (choose one: performance enhancing drug suspension, fire arms suspension, suspension for breaking an unspecified team rule). When they get him back, this team may be unstoppable.

With the way this team is coming together at the right time, we wouldn’t be surprised if they end up with a bye in the first week of the playoffs. It’s not even unimaginable for them to earn the top spot in the NFC with the way the Bears and Rex Grossman have been playing as of late.

In the past month, the Dallas Cowboys have been the media’s NFC darlings, and now after their win in Dallas the Saints are due up next. It’s getting ridiculous how the media is ready to jump from one team to another from week to week. Don't even get me started on the fact that the Bears have the best record in the NFC and are the first to clinch a playoff spot. Grow some fucking balls and stick with a team already.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll see an end to this before the season closes. With that in mind, let’s take an impromptu poll: Which teams will be referred to as the “team to beat in the NFC” before the season ends? Personally, my front runners are Philadelphia Eagles, the New York Giants, and the Seattle Seahawks, with the Giants receiving the honor...for at least one week.

Mark it on your calendars

2006-12-08T14:30:00.000-06:00

Hey guys,

We've decided to celebrate the success of the show with everyone that made it possible, our listeners. So, mark it on your calendars now:

December 15, 2006

Sedgwick's Bar & Grill
1935 N. Sedgwick St.
Chicago, IL 60614

10 p.m. to 1 a.m.
$20 all-you-can-drink
beer, wine, well and soft drinks.

Most of the cast from the show will be in attendance. So you'll get a chance to tell us how spot on or more likely, how off the mark we've been so far this year. We're hoping for a great turnout so let us know if you're coming by adding a comment below.

-Joel

Season 1, Episode 14

2006-12-08T14:11:00.000-06:00

Season 1, Episode 13

2006-12-01T11:04:00.000-06:00

Season 1, Episode 12a

2006-11-28T10:37:00.001-06:00

NUC E 355 or Why Rex is a nuclear reactor

2006-11-23T14:52:00.000-06:00

Watching the Bears last Sunday against the Jets, I struggled to find an appropriate analogy for what I was watching. The defense was clamping down on the Jets’ offense: finally limiting a rusher to fewer than 100 yds for the first time in four games, forcing Pennington into his second career red zone interception, and posting their second shut out of the season. While that seemed about par for the course what had me stumped was the Bears offense, specifically Rex’s performance. That’s when it hit me, Rex is a nuclear reactor.

First, some background. A nuclear reactor is, at its most basic, the heat source for a steam engine. The reactor produces that heat through a controlled nuclear reaction, controlled being the operative word. Before the reaction is controlled it is supercritical (think a nuclear bomb but with less nudity). They bring the reactor under control with control rods. The rods start taking some of the particles out of play, absorbing them and not letting them be used to create more reactions. This way they control how hot the reactor gets. Engine going too fast? Drop more of the rods in, slow things down. Engine running to slow? Pull some of the rods out and let the reactor go.

Now you ask, what the hell does this have to do with Rex?

Well, if the offense is the reactor and Rex the radioactive materials in it, then someone dropped waaaaay too many control rods into last week’s game plan. The once red hot Bears offense was grounded…literally. What happened to stretching the field vertically, like they did earlier in the year? While the rest of the league may be catching up to the Bears downfield threat, you have to show a willingness to take those shots to keep the defense is honest.

Now I’ll be the first to admit, Rex has been a high risk, high reward kind of player (believe me I know this, not only am I Bears fan I also have him on my fantasy team). Obviously, after a few rough starts in recent weeks the coaching staff is going to try to rein things in a bit, take a few plays out of the book, simplify some of the reads, but they can’t take things too far. If they do we may as well have stuck with the John Shoop school of offensive game planning.

Prior to Sunday’s game, Rex averaged 232 yards and 32 attempts per game, with a completion percentage of 57%. Last Sunday he threw for 119 yards on an 11 for 22 day. And don’t forget, 57 of those yards came on the short hitch route he threw to Bradley for the touchdown. Those aren’t the kind of numbers that win playoff games, or even the kind that can avoid a loss.

Against explosive teams, we will need to be able to score points, and we won’t be able to do that if we rely solely on the run and our defense, as good as they may be. Last year we had the defense and the run game but we still got routed in our first game. Stretching the field will show that we have a balanced offense and will open up opportunities in the underneath routes as well as the run game. It keeps the chains moving and keeps the opposing offense off the field resting our defensive players.

The Bears will go only as far as Rex will take them. As long as he can keep from melting down, I think that'll be a long way.

...and you guys didn't think I could make the connection between nuclear engineering and football.

It's Tradition

2006-11-21T21:43:00.000-06:00

Oh Whacking Day,
Oh Whacking Day,
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day.
We'll break their backs,
Gouge out their eyes,
Their evil hearts, we'll pulverize.
Oh Whacking Day,
Oh Whacking Day,
May God bestow His grace on thee.

Sometimes, traditions are important customs based on long-standing values. Other times, they're nothing but stupid habits. How does this relate to football? How about the "tradition" of having the Lions and Cowboys play every Thanksgiving? Why do the same two teams have games on Turkey Day every year? The Lions haven't been relevant since 1991 and the Cowboys haven't been much better in the 21st Century. Isn't it time to free ourselves from the bonds of history and start picking the best Thanksgiving match-ups available? After all, more people watch football on Turkey Day than any other regular-season date. Why not use the national stage to showcase the best possible contests? Write to your representatives today, kids, and make Thanksgiving better for everyone!

Season 1, Episode 12

2006-11-20T11:18:00.000-06:00

J-E-T-S -- SUCK-MY-BALLS

2006-11-17T20:34:00.000-06:00

Seriously, no one likes the Jets. There are eleven Jets fans in the world and they're the unhappiest people in the world. They play in a stadium owned by their crosstown rivals. And the best player in their history tried to sexually assault Suzy Kolber.

Season 1, Episode 11

2006-11-17T11:24:00.001-06:00

The Return Parts 1 & 2

2006-11-14T12:51:00.000-06:00

November 12, 2006

November 13, 2005

Season 1, Episode 10a

2006-11-14T11:18:00.001-06:00

Listener Blitz Pick-Up

2006-11-10T11:29:00.000-06:00

Joel's looking for your help. Check the details after the jump.

The Powder Puff Girl is going to get him a jersey for Christmas but he needs to decide who to get. Level of difficulty: No Urlacher, Grossman, Payton, Sayers or Butkus.

Need more info? Check out episode 10 at the 10:21 mark for the full scoop.

Leave your suggestions in the comments for this article or by e-mailing us at offensiveline@gmail.com.

So far possible candidates are:

#12 Grabowski
#29 Gentry
#87 Moorehead
#99 Hampton
#95 Dent
#41 Piccolo

Season 1, Episode 10

2006-11-10T11:24:00.000-06:00

Only We Can Say That

2006-11-09T16:25:00.000-06:00

Siblings, next to parents they’re the best at pushing your buttons. I have a sister. Growing up she annoyed the hell out of me. I always had to watch her, take her with me when I’d hang out with friends, share my toys and later the TV with her, you know, general sibling stuff. For the most part it was ok, but there were times when I just wanted to shake her.

Take for instance the summer I baby sat her. I was in seventh grade and all I wanted to do was play basketball with my friends and play Super Mario Bros. 3. When I’d go play basketball she’d be there, annoying me. When I’d be playing Super Mario, she’d be there…annoying me. All I wanted her to do was hold the camera straight so that I could get my score into Nintendo Power. WAS THAT SO HARD?!? Nooooo, she wouldn’t even do that. She’d rather complain that Arthur was on and she wasn’t getting to watch it. I digress…

So what does this have to do with the Bears you ask? Well, I knew my sister was annoying and I took every chance to remind her of that fact. Now if someone else, one of my friends, one of the other neighborhood kids, ever said anything about her they would have gotten punched in the face, knocked down and shit on until the apologized. I can talk to my sister any way I want because we’re family; if you’re not well…did I mention the shitting on yet? Similarly to a neighborhood kid picking on my sister, there are a lot of people out there picking on the Bears. Now mind you, I realize that the Bears are able to take care of themselves and these pussies, but I still take it as an affront to all of Beardom.

When Gary Myer of the New York Daily News is quoted as saying,

The Bears come into their showdown against the Giants for control of the NFC as both overrated and overhyped. And that was true even before they got blown out at home three days ago by the Dolphins, one of the five worst teams in the league.

I feel like punching him in the throat. When Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress starts hating on the Bears secondary, saying,

They're not great cover guys. I don't know why everybody's acting like these guys are exceptional corners. I've played against better guys all year.

I want to drop kick him in the head, which shouldn’t be too hard considering just hours after saying this he had to sit out practice due to his back tightening up again (in case you didn’t know, it kept him out of NY’s last game).

At this point, the overzealous irrational sports fan in my starts coming out wanting to pull an Ivan Drago to their Apollo Creed, except with less Bridgette Nielsen. (Did you see her on the Surreal Life? Who in their right mind would ever willingly go out with Flava’ Flav?) Seriously though, no outsider gets to talk about my team like that.

You can only talk about the Bears like that when you’ve been through the lean years, and have actually seen some shit. You know what I’m talking about, the Cade McNown, Shane Matthews, Curtis Enis years. Years when John Shoop was our offensive coordinator. When you’ve lived through Charles Martin slamming Jim McMahon into the turf and agonized over your lost quarterback and ruined season, then you can come and say the things you’re saying about the Bears right now. Because then you’d be family and you’d be entitled, but you’re not so just shut up.

Ok, now that I have that out of my system, I’ll be the first to admit that, like my sibling these Bears aren’t infallible. They have their weaknesses, as exposed by Arizona and Miami: a near-rookie quarterback that can be pressured into bad decisions, a running game that has underperformed all season, and a secondary that is slowly being whittled away due to injuries. Surprisingly though, this Bears team has proved themselves stronger than I thought and a more complete team than I expected during the preseason.

I fully believe that they can walk into Giants Stadium Sunday night and reclaim the mantle of the best team in the NFC. The Giants defensive squad has been riddled with injuries and now that has started to transfer over to the other side of the ball. Amani Toomer is out for the rest of the season with a knee injury and Plaxico Burress is still experiencing back strain.

Meanwhile, our defensive front is close to 100 percent (do you really think a sprained toe is going to stop Urlacher?) and our secondary has something to prove. Speaking of something to prove, I think Grossman is going to come out and be poised and keep his head on this time around. If he’s the gunslinger we all hope he is, he’ll be able to come out fully loaded and shoot down any Griese talk with a good performance Sunday.

Faults and all, I truly believe that they are the better team and will come away victorioius. Now where’s that camera, Nintendo Power is calling.

Season 1, Episode 9a

2006-11-07T10:24:00.000-06:00

Mahi Mahi

2006-11-07T09:26:00.000-06:00

Okay, the Bears lost a home game to a weak opponent right before their toughest road trip of the season. Yes, it sucks, and yes, I'm pissed. Still, I think it's important for us to remember three things:

1) It's just one game. A bad NFL team beat a good one in any given week, especially when they get six turnovers.
2) In January, the Bears are going to the playoffs and the Dolphins are going home.
3) For the rest of the season, I'm not buying dolphin-safe tuna. Fuck the Dolphins.

Injury Report

2006-11-06T14:58:00.000-06:00

Word from the Chicago Tribune is that the MRI taken today has shown Brian Urlacher suffered a sprained ligament in his left leg during yesterday's loss to the Dolphins. He has stated that he has no intention of sitting out next week's game against the New York Giants.

Also, the Sun-Times is reporting that Bernard Berrian will be out two to four weeks with a rib injury.

While these are the two key injures, the Bears also took a couple hits in the secondary with Brandon McGowan and Dante Wesley suffering injuries last Sunday as well.

There couldn't have been a worse time for these players to go down during the regular season. Justin Gage didn't look ready for prime time filling in for Berrian, appearing confused on a few plays. With Mike Brown already down, we're one injury away from a full blown crisis in the secondary that could bleed over into special teams as well. While I'm always of the mind that having Urlacher on the field is better than having him on the bench, how effective is he going to be with this injury going up against the NFL's leading rusher, Tiki Barber, this coming Sunday?

These are all questions the Bears are going to have to answer this week in practice as they try to restore the luster to the team after the tarring they received against the FUCKING DOLPHINS.

Updates to follow as the week progresses.

Yeeeeeeehaw!

2006-11-06T14:39:00.000-06:00

After the loss yesterday it felt like someone had killed my dog. Now mind you, I’ve never had a dog so I’m just guessing that this is what it feels like. Perhaps it’s more like playing Dukes of Hazzard in your car, trying to jump the parking median at the grocery store because the fat ass that held up the check-out line buying pork rinds and mayonnaise is now blocking your exit with his SUV because he thinks he got double charged on the block of processed cheesefood he bought and he's wondering whether or not he should go back in and get a refund or just take another block of the stuff since he paid for it.

So now you’re gunning the engine and launching yourself over a small grass hill. You think you’re in the clear when you remember that the parking lot is elevated and the grass hill is really an embankment down to street level. You end up bottoming out hard, a cop sees you and you get a ticket. So not only do you have to appear in court for reckless operation of a motor vehicle, your car is banged up (but drivable), you lost a side view mirror, it’s making funny noises and you’re just waiting to see if the engine falls out. Meanwhile that fat ass is halfway through his block of cheesefood as he drives past laughing at you as the cop hands you your ticket.

Yeah, that’s definitely closer to how I feel. I don’t know where that dog killing stuff came from. I apologize if none of that made sense, but I'm still in shock from the fact that we LOST TO THE FUCKING DOLPHINS!

Season 1, Episode 9

2006-11-03T11:34:00.001-06:00

Everyone Hates The Dolphins

2006-11-02T17:50:00.000-06:00

As I type this post, the ridiculous '72 Dolphins are jerking each other off in hopes of a Dolphins victory this weekend. They're sitting around in their pastel blazers with shitty mustaches and smug little grins, looking for a repeat of the '85 season. For those who don't remember, Dan Marino and the Dolphins were the only team to beat the Bears in 1985. (Of course, if that was anything but a fluke, the Dolphins wouldn't have lost to the Patriots in the playoffs). See, as long as no other team goes undefeated for an entire season, the '72 Dolphins can continue to insist they're something more than a statistical anomaly. I have two pieces of bad news for Dolphins fans.

1) Even with Isotoners, Daunte Culpepper is about as far away from Dan Marino as it gets. The 2006 Dolphins suck donkey balls.

2) Regardless of whether the Bears (or Colts) finish 16-0 and win the Super Bowl, the '72 Dolphins aren't the best team of all time.

It takes more than a "perfect" record to be the greatest of all time. There's only one way to measure true greatness. In a word? DITKA.

Season 1, Episode 8a

2006-10-30T20:00:00.000-06:00

Season 1, Episode 8

2006-10-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

Season 1, Episode 7

2006-10-20T13:14:00.000-05:00

When It Rains, We Score

2006-10-19T15:43:00.000-05:00

People who don't know me won't believe that I started the Bears comeback on Monday. It does sound improbable, right?

On November 4, 2001 I attended a certain game that featured a victorious Bears team over a downtrodden team known as the Cleveland Browns. For three miserable quarters I was harrassed by the four Browns fans I had stupidly invited to the game. There was a point where I "jokingly" choked a friend of mine. His face turned blue. The blue of Bears victory. That's when I knew. As the Bears began a second incredible comeback in consecutive weeks (the previous weekend over the 49ers) everyone knew they were going to win. Especially the Browns fans. They have had arguably the worst stretch of defining moments of losing of any professional sports team. I'm not talking about 98 years of Cubs losing (those fucking bastards), but individual sequences: The Fumble, The Drive, The Shot. The Browns fans stopped yapping, and started to get that all-too-familiar look in their eyes.

At the end of the fourth quarter, James Allen caught a touchdown pass that was deflected by everyone in the Chicagoland area. I actually tipped it twice. Tie game. Overtime. The problem was that my bladder was bordering on overtime and it was union. To the bathroom. I sprinted as quickly as twelve beers would allow. As I pushed like a sixty-year-old man with an enlarged prostate there was a loud roar from the crowd. Apparently, they were impressed with my feat of urination. And who wouldn't be? It is quite a sight. Ask any prostitute. What I didn't know until I made it back to my seat was at that exact moment, Mike Brown had returned a pick for a touchdown. Bears win.

What I'm getting at is that when I piss, good things happen for Mike Brown. Of course, my Browns fans tried to taunt me, but the "smart" one had pissed in a cup rather than leave and miss the end. As they scored, the Bears fan in front of him jumped up, knocked over the piss onto my friend, and soaked him in his own urine. Now, this was shortly after 9/11, and he had no change of clothes because he couldn't bring a bag into Soldier Field. After the game, he had two hours to kill before a three-hour flight to Denver. Oh, did I mention he was covered in piss?

How does this relate to the Bears comeback on Monday night? Well, do I really need to tell you where I was when Mike Brown scored? This afternoon Mike Brown was placed on IR. I was not pissing. Coincidence?

* Author's note: Contrary to what you may believe after reading this, I have a very large, rather attractive bladder. I just happen to produce urine faster than any medical journal has been able to explain. And I defy you to out-piss me.

A Heartbreaking…Victory?

2006-10-18T23:38:00.000-05:00

On a night when the high powered offense had run out of gas, the defense got its motor running and pulled their ass out of the fire. I’m not sure Monday night’s game wasn’t more a case of the Cardinals snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, but I’ll take it. If a case is ever made that these Bears are a team of destiny, one more piece of evidence will be last Monday.

The first quarter came and went and our once high octane offense sputtered like it had a banana in its tailpipe. (Speaking of which, how funny was the original Beverly Hills Cop? I remember sneaking into our living room growing up and watching it from behind the couch where my parents couldn’t see me. I would have seen the entire thing if I hadn’t laughed at the banana scene and gotten sent back to bed. Rest in peace Eddie Murphy's career, if only it were still alive today and making movies.)

Could the offense have looked any worse? Whether it was the Cardinals defense (which was better than advertised), Turner’s play calling (which was questionable), or Grossman’s reads (which were atrocious) they put together the worse offensive display since last year’s Cincinnati match up. I was having flashbacks to the 2002 Sugar Bowl in New Orleans where Illinois got their asses handed to them by LSU. Being surrounded by opposing fans when your team is playing bottoms in a game of penitentiary is one of the most horrible positions a fan can be in. At least the Arizona fans had all their teeth and bathed.

The offense's shortcomings forced the defense into short field, after short field. Unfortunately they were not up to the challenge in the first half. Tackles were missed, coverages were dropped, and at one point the secondary looked like it was checking out Leinart’s groupies. Things could not have been any worse at the end of the half. I was honestly worried that an altercation was going to ensue between our group and everyone wearing red in our immediate vicinity. Granted, part of that group consisted of a few children, but I think I could have taken them.

The start of the second half was barely better than the end of the first. The Bears put together a drive, but stalled just short of the touchdown. Then it happened. I didn’t notice it at first, but Jared brought it to my attention. The Cardinals were rushing the ball and throwing short passes for minimal gains. It was obvious: they were trying to run out the clock…at the start of the THIRD QUARTER! With as much time left as there was, they chose the safe road. The field goal the Cardinals scored on their opening possession didn't change the fact that they were playing scared, and that was going to come back and haunt them.

By the end of the third quarter the comeback was in full effect, still with no help from the offense. Mark Anderson slammed Leinart, causing a sack that Mike Brown picked up and ran in for a touch down. Then Urlacher stuffed Edge, again, but this time stripped the ball allowing Peanut to pick it up and run in for a touchdown. Then the topper was Hester's run back for a touchdown, giving them the lead. With each play you could feel the energy draining out of the Cardinals fans, their will to live slowly leaving their bodies…wait that was me, mostly because of the trip to Vegas the weekend before.

In all honesty though, I'll say one thing about the Cardinals fans, they absolutely love their team, but if anyone is suffering from G-Spot’s blueberry muffin syndrome*, it’s them. They are such a downtrodden group that even when they’re up big, they’re afraid they’re going to lose. And to be honest, they’re absolutely right to feel that way, because that’s how their team plays.

After Neil Rackers missed the go ahead field goal, the place was ecstatic…with only Bears fans' cheering to be heard. The Bears pulled off the most improbable win of the season, because they believed they would win. It was the greatest sports victory I've ever seen, if only because they looked so bad for so long, but still found a way to win. There will be time for criticism of the offensive and defensive performances, but for now I'm still relishing the win.

On Monday night the Cardinals were playing not to lose and that’s why the lost the game. Those jaws of victory that they snatched defeat from? They’re looking more and more like Bears' jaws to me.

*G-Spot's blueberry muffin theory came about on Episode 5 (time mark 19:45). It's much better if you hear it from him.

Season 1, Episode MNF

2006-10-18T13:15:00.000-05:00

Season 1, Episode 6

2006-10-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

The Visor of Destiny

2006-10-13T21:03:00.000-05:00

Yup, that pretty much describes what happened to the Buffalo Bills last Sunday. I can't remember the last time the Bears were that dominant …oh wait, yes I can, it was the week before against Seattle. I'll be honest, what is there to write after a performance like that? The Bills were overmatched at every position and they knew it. Losman looked confused and unable to execute. The Bears offense had their way with the defensive line, and the receivers were able to run past the secondary.

Other than the one passing touchdown that the defense gave up, the Bears owned the Bills, but I suppose that's my problem right now. I feel a bit guilty about that touchdown because I think I inadvertently caused it to occur.

How you ask? Well, my friends and I had gathered to watch the game at a local watering hole. Not that it has anything to do with the touchdown, but I'd like to say that The Cubby Bear has a decent buffet for 11 o'clock on a Sunday morning. Sausage, bacon, bbq chicken, potatoes and peppers, pancakes and an omelet bar made for quite the Sunday brunch. Granted, it was all you could eat for four hours, but the $13 they charged was a bit steep in my opinion. Any way, back to the story…

As we watched the game, we became positively bored with the proceedings. While we kept one eye on the game at all times, even after the half when it was obvious the win was well within hand, our attention wandered. One issue at our table was the fact that G-Spot and I were outnumbered two to one by girls. Normally that wouldn't be an issue, but when none of them really understand the game (except for my GF, which is readily apparent when you read her blog) it definitely becomes one. The next conversation that came up was that my orange Bears visor would really match Bri's Bears hoodie. So over the course of two quarters (2nd, the half, and the 3rd) she kept requesting the visor.

Now, something about the visor: I bought it at Soldier Field last year during the Cincinnati game, which you'll recall was a complete blow out…for the Bengals. This visor and I had been through a lot, and through the course of this season I had worn it at every victory. So obviously, me wearing this visor had become integral to the Bears winning. Any way, back to the story…

I was reluctant to give up the visor due to the obvious reasons: I wanted the Bears to secure another win, I didn't want any season ending injuries, and since I hadn't showered yet that day my hair looked pretty bad (how a visor helps things, I'm not sure, but it does). When I saw that Lovie had pulled the first team offense and Griese and the second team was on the field, I figured it was all good. I gave Bri my visor and then BAM the Bears gave up a touchdown.

In actuality there was some time in between when I gave Bri the visor and when the Bills scored. I'd be able to tell you how long it was, but to be honest, The Cubby Bear had a 32 oz. stadium cup beer special that day and I don't remember a whole lot. In my defense neither does G-Spot. Any way, back to the story…

So there was Bri, drinking her Heineken and wearing my visor. Meanwhile the Bears had won the game, but gave up the shut out. All this because I gave up my game day ritual.

What did we learn here folks? 1) Never break your ritual. 2) Never trust someone that's drinking bottles of Heineken when there's a $5 stadium cup beer special being run. I definitely learned my lesson, now where's that stadium cup.

Season 1, Episode 5a

2006-10-10T21:55:00.000-05:00

Season 1, Episode 5

2006-10-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

Season 1, Episode 4a

2006-10-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

Complete and Utter Domination

2006-10-02T13:53:00.000-05:00

I was in heaven. No, not after what is arguably the most significant win this season, but even before the game. Our seats were so high I swear I was looking down on the roof of the Sears Tower. We were so far in the corner that I needed my binoculars just to see the Jumbotron in the opposite endzone. The beer vendors never made it any closer than three rows in front of us, so trips down to the concourse required us to make base camp and form an expedition party to get back to our seats.

By the time kick-off arrived the energy in the stadium was palpable. You could sense that the fans were excited for the challenge before them - the defending NFC champs had come to town and they had just blown up another play-off caliber team in the New York Giants the week before. After last week’s escape from Minnesota, worries lingered in the heart of many a Bears fan. Coming into the week, Seattle was an opponent an order of magnitude better than any we had faced. How would our team, our Bears, respond to a team as balanced, if not more, as they are, with explosive weapons, a stifling defense, and an experienced coach on the opposite sideline? Add to that the Bears' dismal track record when thrown into the national spotlight in recent years.

What did the Bears do in the face of such opposition? Thirty-seven points, 362 yards of total offense, 143 yards rushing with two rushing touch downs, two interceptions, five sacks and a still perfect record. These Bears are not the Bears of old. They didn’t shrink in the limelight, but rather, embraced it and made last night their coming out party. Not only that, but they made Seattle their bitch.

Even the truest of true-believers couldn’t have seen this coming. This was supposed to be a low scoring, defensive struggle. Even the stoutest of Bears apologists had to concede that the NFC North isn’t exactly a powerhouse division. This was supposed to be the truest test of whether the Bears had met their potential, matching themselves against the class of the conference, and in the end they proved themselves to be the better.

I’m not going to lie to you, I was nervous, apprehensive, and anxious about last night’s game. I thought that the Bears could win, but I wasn’t sure if I believed just yet. When Seattle began their second drive of the night and picked up yard after yard, you could feel the entire stadium collectively take a deep breath and not let it out till Urlacher broke-up a potential touchdown pass to Mili on third down. We held them to three points. The most prolific scoring team in the NFC last year was held to three points.

After that it was our turn on offense and they capitalized with a touchdown. Then a field goal, then another and then a touchdown. Before you knew it, it was half time and the Bears were up 20-6. In the end that would be more than enough, but unlike years past, the Bears did not let up. They pinned their ears back, knocked them down, punched them in the mouth and stepped on their throat

After celebrating a little – ok a lot – longer than I needed to with other Bears fans after the game, I woke this morning to the realization that the Bears were the new Kings of the NFC. Our offense was finally starting to assert itself, and carry the load the defense had bore for too long. Our running game had woken up for over a hundred yards and two touchdowns. Our failings from a year ago, the secondary that got torched by Steve Smith and the Carolina Panthers, stepped up to the challenge of the vaunted Seattle four receiver sets and won. The Bears proved themselves the Super Bowl contenders that we knew them to be and now I’m really in heaven.

Season 1, Episode 4

2006-09-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

If the green city had a wizard, the Seahawks would surely win this game

2006-09-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

If this week’s game was being played at Seattle, the Seahawks would surely have won. But on the road the Seahawks are a different team. They put it to the Giants and the Cardinals, both teams that prior to the beginning of the year, were popular playoff picks but since have fallen into the dog house of most prognosticators. However, on the road, but still on artificial turf, the Seahawks struggled against a bad Lions team. All four of Seattle’s losses last year were away from home, three of them on natural grass.

If Shawn Alexander was health for the game, the Seahawks would surely have won. The Bears defense would have had to honor the running game, like the Bears’ apologist suggests other defenses have to honor the Bears’ running game. If it’s true that Thomas Jones is providing value by being a good decoy this year instead of running the ball for more than 3 yards a carry, then the same could be said for Alexander’s value the Seattle passing game. But I’m not making this up… Alexander was actually averaging less yards per carry than Jones. And so was his back up Morris. Who sadly is just ahead of Cedric Benson. And people wonder why he couldn’t find the field last Sunday.

By the way speaking of last Sunday, I want you all to remember that I claimed it was going to be a blow out and the Minnesota was not going to find a pass rush. I am handing it to Minnesota. They blitzed a rookie quarterback. That’s a good idea. They went into the prevent on the last drive against a NFL quarterback. That’s a bad idea. Even Shane Matthews can dissect the prevent for touchdowns (See San Fran game during the miracle 13-3 season). On offense they made more bad decisions. Throwing long on a 4th and 2, running a draw on a 3rd and 7, passing on a 2nd down when they were trying to run out the clock. Do these sound like the actions of a man who’s had all he can eat? No. They sound like the choices of a coach who doesn’t believe in his team yet.

Despite the stats not proving it, I think that last weeks game was Grossman’s best of the season. In the first two games, he had gaudy stats but he was not being pressured and the game was not close. Against Minnesota, he handed the game away in a high pressure situation. And when the defense came through for him, he came through for the team. Although, it was not a good win, and the team played poorly, and taken as one game in its own merit, it stunk out load. This win will go a long way towards making this team better. How much harder will the defense play the next time the team is behind the eight ball and down in the final quarter because they saw the offense do what it took to win?

Also, although I could not see it during the game because I was so angry and drunk by the second half, the coaches must have made some half time adjustments. The Vikings went 4 of 6 on 3rd down conversions before going 1 of 9 the rest of the way. I was astounded that when the Brad Johnson conversion team meet the Bear’s D, it was Johnson who was actually winning the battle. But sometime just after half the Bear’s reverted to back to the form that carried them through the first two games. Shutting the opposition down and getting off the field. If it wasn’t for bad tackling, I would have thought it was a good performance by the Bears’ D.

The offense also reverted back to form in the second half. Unfortunately, it was the form from the Green Bay game where red zone chances resulted only in field goals, but it was a big improvement over the first half. Of the final six drives the bears had on offense, they scored on four of them. And unlike previous versions of this offense, one’s my brother would like me to point out did not include Rex Grossman, when a touchdown was required, a touchdown was provided. But back to the discussion about this week’s game.

If Holmgren would not have used his new four receiver set on the Giants, they would have surely won this game. The Bears defense is notoriously bad against players and packages they haven’t been able to prepare for. But when given enough time and enough tape these guys can figure something out. I believe that the Bears have the size and depth at the secondary positions to cover this. The defense has the speed to zone this up. But the pressure must come from the front four. Now last year, the first time the Bears played the Panthers, the front four got pressure on the quarterback and made it a miserable week for Delhomme. This week if the Bears want to win they will need the same kind of performance from Ogunleye and Brown.

But none of these things are going to happen. The game is scheduled at Chicago. It will be played without Alexander. And the Bears have time to prepare for this offense. None of these things guarantee a win for Chicago either but it does give the Bears a fighting chance against a team with few weaknesses. Good luck boys. You’re going to need that too. A close loss this week goes a long way towards convincing people that 13 and 3 was not a bad guess and your 9 and 7 pick might have been a little pessimistic. A win will cause mayhem in the streets. Bears 20-17. WWWWHHHHHHEEEEE!!!!?!?!?!

Season 1, Episode 3a

2006-09-25T21:52:00.000-05:00

Season 1, Episode 3

2006-09-21T21:51:00.000-05:00

Untested

2006-09-19T21:01:00.000-05:00

Okay it’s hard to find comments on the Bears at this point. Other than the running game, anyone would be hard pressed to find issues with the Bears’ performance so far. And every week seems to present a more challenging opponent. But I don’t think that Minnesota will challenge the Bears this week.

Their wins have been against Washington and Carolina. Both of these teams were suppose to be playoff bound. But neither of them have a win to their credit yet. Obviously injuries have played a part in that, as Washington tries to get Clinton Portis up and running. And Carolina without Steve Smith is actually worse statically than Detroit.

In order to beat the Smithless Panthers, Minnesota needed a botched trick play, a trick play of their own, and OT. Likewise, the Washington Redskins fell by three on a last minute kick. Minnesota needed Brad Johnson to throw for 10 of 15 third down passes. The Bears’ opponents are 2 for 20 on third down conversions.

Brad Johnson has thrown only one pic so far and that accounts for their only turnover. One is also the number for take aways their defense has caused. The Bears have turned the ball over twice as many times. And that number could have been three times due to another careless play from Grossman, who continues to throw the ball up for grabs. To his credit, he has reason to believe that he can get away with it more times than not because the receivers have been fighting for the ball like never before. Diving catches have become common place and Bears receivers are collecting jump balls like Dennis Rodman going after rebounds.

But it’s the defense I wanted to highlight here. They have taken the ball away six times in two games. They did drop sure interceptions from Brett Favre but every team does. He’s good for five pics a game but until last year his opponents didn’t actually catch five pics a game. The first turnover last Sunday against the Lions was not only good for the stat sheet but it set the table for the entire game. And the next fumble recover led to what was the winning score.

Minnesota will have a hard time stopping the Bears’ offense. The O line has given up only one sack this year. Green Bay’s Kampman alone got three times that from their second week opponent. And this is not from a lack of trying on Grossman’s part. He has been standing back there all day taunting the opposing defense. Case in point. On John Gilmore’s first TD catch… by the way great game from the tight ends again. This has been really impressive from them so far. 12 catches for 170 yards and 3 touchdowns. I bet some people would have guessed that was their statline for the year not two games. Anyway Happy’s first catch. He made a comment that the crowd began to cheer before Rex threw the ball. Let me translate that for those of you that aren't reading between the lines. The crowd can recognize open receivers prior to Grossman.

Minnesota has two sacks this year. Caroline and Washington have combined to give up 12 sacks. The reason the defensive line for the Vikings can’t get to anyone is because their secondary can’t guard anyone. A safety, a linebacker, and a cornerback have all been injured which has put a strain on what was a deep team. And although Erasmus James only had two tackles prior to going down to a season ending injury, they had high hopes for the defensive end. This should all add up to another Sunday of high scoring Bears’ offense.

This time however, I would like the Vikings to pick a different poison. The Packers and the Lions choose to make Grossman beat them, which at the time seemed like a good idea. However, they have chosen… poorly. A Bears’ quarterback, and I’m guessing this is the first time in club history, leads the league in passer rating. And I don’t suspect this will change after this weekend. The Vikings aren’t stupid. Well anymore. The Vikings aren’t stupid anymore. They know if they don’t stack against the run they will lose. But if they do stack against the run they might lose. When it comes to losses I will take the gamble over the sure thing any day. Not that I could envision a scenario that Grossman will make so many mistakes that he will actually put this game in jeopardy.

Which means another disappointing game from the running backs and more questions about whether they have it this year. I admit that I am one of those questioning it but that’s because the Bears should have been able to run over Green Bay and Detroit regardless of what their defenses did to prevent it because they are Green Bay and Detroit and Chicago is going to the playoffs this year.

On the opposite side of the ball, Minnesota lacks the weapons to challenge this Bears’ defense. With the off season loss of Koren Robinson, the best receiver in purple jersey will be Marcus Robinson. And every Bears’ fan knows that he has not been the same since blowing his knee out during his last season with the Bears. On the other hand, Chester Taylor has been strong this season. The line will take care of Brad Johnson with plenty of time to chase his 38 year old legs around the field and while playing from behind the Vikings will forget about running like the Lions did.

In short it is not the Vikings that scare me. It’s their turf. I think another 20 something point victory can be expected but I just want the Bears to walk out of there healthy. Unfortunately, this means the Bears walk in to Soldier Field untested to face the defending NFC champs. Untested, yet undefeated. 32-10.

Bears Come Ridiculously Close to Losing

2006-09-18T09:33:00.001-05:00

Quick math: Which is closer to 40, 7 or 34? If you're Roy Williams you're probably saying 7 ~~or that you'd wish that everyone would quit asking him about his prediction because he looks like an absolute fool now~~.

Well, after the 34-7 throttling that our Chicago Bears gave the Detroit Lions I think Roy is out of the guarantee business. If you had told me three weeks ago that the Bears would absolutely own the Lions, I would have believed you. If you had told me that most of their points would come in the air off the arm of Grossman, I would have crapped my pants. Needless to say I had to do laundry yesterday.

The Bears dominated in every facet of the game Sunday. The defense got things going with the sack and fumble recovery deep in Lions territory, setting the offense up for their first touchdown drive of the day. They continued their strong play throughout the game, sacking Kitna six times. The offense came together like ~~biscuits and gravy~~, ~~chicken adobo and rice~~, brats and a bun. Rex is now the highest rated quarterback in the league, after his 20 for 27 day. Eight players had receptions, and thankfully Grossman wasn’t one of them. Hell, I think I had reception for positive yards yesterday. And while special teams didn’t exactly sparkle, they definitely outshone their Detroit counterparts.

I'm trying not to get too high on the Bears fast start this season, but how could I not? The Bears are now 2-0 in the division, giving them a leg up on the competition. If, and I understand that it's a big if, they win at Minnesota next week that potentially puts them at 3-0 in the division, without having to play any of them again until December, with two of those three meetings coming at Soldier Field.

With an offense that can do more than roll over and die, our defense actually has a chance to take their helmets off once they get to the sideline. I’m pretty sure I saw Urlacher and Briggs playing in a cornhole tournament out with the tailgaters in the parking lot. When a top rated defense can come out with fresh legs because your offense does more than just move the chains, watch out, because they’re going to come back onto the field with their ears pinned back and looking for blood.

I think next week’s game against 2-0 Minnesota will be a truer test of what this team is made of. The Metrodome is a loud, hostile environment full of big, fat, loud, ugly and drunk fans … and that’s just the women. The Vikings are a veteran team, and when I say veteran I mean it. Brad Johnson fought in WWI, lobbing grenades at the Germans on the Western front. (How do you think his aim got so good?)

Seriously though, the Vikings are a quality team that have played with a discipline lacking under Mike Tice (either that or they’re killing any witnesses to their extracurricular activities now). They’ve run the ball well and are solid defensively. If the Bears win up there, they’ll have earned the praise they’ve so easily won beating lesser opponents and I’ll need to buy more underware.

Surprising fact about Lions head coach Rod Marinelli, he was the technical adviser on the movie Deliverance. Seriously, have you seen this guy? I know he's supposed to be a good coach, and everyone loves him, but couldn't he spend some of that coaching coin on braces, or caps, or maybe even a toothbrush?

Season 1, Episode 2

2006-09-14T21:51:00.000-05:00

Super Bowl Contenders?

2006-09-14T14:08:00.000-05:00

A bit early to talk about that, you say. And, you're right. But, a couple minutes after kickoff I was plum excited about this Bears season. Yes, plum excited. And nothing had happened yet.

You could tell from the beginning the Packers were overmatched. If you are a non-Bears fan, you don't know how weird this feels. It's like thinking that the government isn't out to get you. It just doesn't happen. Brett Favre has owned the Bears more times than I've owned skid-marked Underoos. Why wouldn't he single-handedly vanquish the Bears like he has so many times before?

No one could have predicted the Pack putting up a turducken egg on the scoreboard. It had been fifteen years since they hadn't scored in a game at Lambeau. It was pre-Favre. Pre-Favre! And he's been on the Packers since the 14th Century. The word "Packer" is actually Old English for "Brett Favre". A lot of people don't know that. Their official name is The Green Bay Brett Favres.

So, what does this have to do with the Super Bowl? When you finally beat that team that has made you their bitch for your entire adult life, how can you not think this is the year? And they didn't just beat them, they slaughtered them. They even had an offensive presence. No, seriously, they did. Rex Grossman, the quarterback Messiah, finally appeared and redeemed those patient fans who have kept the faith that one day they too would have a quarterback that throws deeper than five yards. One day, I think all the NFL teams will institute the forward pass as an offensive weapon. It will revolutionize the game! Along with a competent offense, the defense was solid, and special teams was great. This is their year!

The logical side of your brain says, "Brett Favre is six-hundred years old. He's like the knight at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but with less facial hair. He can barely stand up anymore. What's the big deal?" Or, "Half the guys on the team weren't there last year. Of course they were going to suck. How can you judge anything after a game against these pansies?" That's when you stab that side of your brain with an ice pick.

Right now, I'm going to ignore those obvious, cogent arguments because I'm a fan. Being a fan isn't about logical, rational thought. It's about emotional attachment to men who play in tights. And my team in tights is better than your team in tights, and if you have a problem with that, I will punch you in the face. It's early in the season, and I can dream of the Bears going undefeated. I can dream of giving those uppity 1972 Dolphins the finger and telling them to go fuck themselves. I can dream of a new Super Bowl Shuffle. Because I'm a fan.

As a Bears fan revelling in the post-coital bliss of a win over the Pack, I can't help but dream about the Super Bowl. Are they going to win the Super Bowl? I have no idea, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you. They have some problems to fix, and a lot can happen between now and January. It's Week Two. How can anyone talk about the Super Bowl yet? As a matter of fact, I can't believe you just read a whole post about it. Right now, it just feels good to beat the Packers, and that's enough.

What seemed like...

2006-09-13T19:18:00.000-05:00

What seemed like a stupid comment from my Dad actually started to make sense on Monday. We were arguing about the Bears possible record this season and he said that he puts the Bears record at 9 and7 partly because Ogunleye and Moose won't keep their mouths shut. Then Roy Williams opened his trap and pulled a Rasheed by guaranteeing a win.

That kind of public display of stupidity can affect a team's record when it fires up the other team. However, Ogunleye and Moose display a different kind of stupidity or at least express it in a different way. And although these statement make fans like me not like them as people or as representatives of the team I root for, I don't believe they can actually lead to losses.

But something tells me that the players may believe that. Last year, or even this preseason, victories like Sunday's would have been followed up by statements about lack of respect from the media or the other teams. Statements declaring they were unblockable or they could catch the moon if thrown to them. Microphone pushing reporters would have been welcomed with observations of how good this team is and more importantly how good the player talking is.

Instead what followed the defeat of the Green Bay Packers by the hands of the Bears were comments like...

Muhammad said, ''Even in this game ... we need to score more touchdowns when we get in the red zone. We need to reach our full potential so we still have a lot of work to do.''

Adewale Ogunleye said, “We don't want to get too high about this. We took care of the first one.''

What seemed like a complete victory started to look like a house of cards on Monday. Please recall that I picked the Bears to go 13-3 this year. And I don't hope that comes through I expect that to happen. I hope for a 16-0 season so those cork soakers in Miami can stick those bottles of champagne where even the Florida sun doesn't shine. More importantly I picked the Bears to win this game 20-3. So understand that I am not trying to pick on the Bears. When they beat Seattle 26-0, I will not come on here and pick on the Bears. But the opponent wasn't Seattle, it was Green Bay and the Bears should have dominated. According to the score they did. But here is what I saw that does not lend itself to that conclusion.

Ahman Green 110 yards on 20 carries. The Chicago Tribune, or as I will start referring to it "the Bears apologist", stated that some of those yards were junk yards on 3rd and longs. No matter how he got them, Ahman Green averaged 5.5 yards a carry behind a line of rookies and second year players.

Wide receivers not named Moose 2 catches for 57 yards and a td. That touchdown to Berrian nearly made me shot in my pants. And Moose was everything I wanted him to be last year. But the Bears are still searching for a number two.

Bears running backs 107 yards on 34 carries. Let see, that’s 3 point, carry the one, whoops no remainder. THAT'S 3.0 yards per carry against Green Bay's line. I don't expect the running game to wake up against a better D line in Chicago when the Lions visit.

My last negative comment will be about Rex Grossman. One more end zone pick and I want him benched. "The Bears apologist" insists (from several different columnists at that paper) that he meant to throw the ball out of bounds. Just like he meant to throw it out of bounds in Atlanta, and in the preseason, and when he threw it over the middle for what should have been, at best, an intentional grounding call, and when he hit the lineman in the back, which WAS called for an illegal touch. In short, he is careless with the ball. And it will cost this team soon. You have to value each possession in this league. I understand that scoring touchdowns is the goal but ask Seattle if you can win without scoring a touchdown.

What seemed like a bumbled draft for the Bears this off-season has already paid dividends. Marc Anderson was one of the best defensive linemen in Blue and Orange this week. With several of them still a little banged up Anderson saw the field and took advantage. In consecutive plays he sacked Favre then dropped Green for a loss. Additionally, D Manning was part of two turnovers by picking Favre off and was involved in fumbled kick off. Devon Hester averaged over 20 yards a return including a punt return for a touchdown that turned it into a blow out. Finally, Desmond Clark makes the draft's biggest blunder, not finding a pass catching tightend, forgettable for a week by catching 5 balls for 77 yards to be the Bears' second most productive receiver.

What seemed like a good day for Bears' fans really was a good day. Brett Favre was shut out for what he believed was the first time in his life. The defense understood the importance of that; finishing the game with the stated goal "Keep that zero up there." I am under the distinct impression that this D might not be scored on until week 5. Week 10 if you don't count touch downs off of turnovers or field goals when the other team already starts in range from a turn over.

Grossman had career highs in most statistical categories. Robbie Gould was perfect and did a good job off the tea not allowing a return past the 30 until late in the game. The pressure was there in Favre's face the whole game. Two picks but they should have been 4. But more importantly, Green Bay had a 9% third down conversion ratio, which attributed to a 34 to 26 minute time of possession victory. Please email me if you can remember the last time the Bears won the time of possession battle.

Look ahead... the Lions run the same defense the Bears do but the Bears run it better. Watch out for that D line of theirs they look fast. But that's on turf and the game is at Soldier Field. Predictions will have to wait until the podcast Thursday night. Available on several sights Friday mornings.

Roy Williams To Undergo Drug Test

2006-09-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

That’s what the headline should have ready on every sports section in Chicago Tuesday morning. Why? Because Detroit Lions wide receiver Roy Williams said this about the Lions' upcoming meeting with the Bears:

"We will win this game," Lions wide receiver Roy Williams told reporters Monday. "You all can take that as a guarantee or whatnot, but we will win this game."

"I'm just saying, we're going to go out there and play the way that we're supposed to play, and when we play the way we're supposed to play, we're supposed to win," Williams said. "And that's what I'm saying, that we're supposed to win."

Detroit Free Press
September 12, 2006

Seriously, is he high? In case you didn’t think so before Roy goes on,

“We watched film today. It was stupid how close we were to putting 40 points on the board, and it's ridiculous.”

I think that Roy has been hanging out with Rasheed Wallace a little to long up in D-town. All of a sudden everyone up there thinks they need to be making guarantees. I’m all for a team being confident in themselves, but this goes beyond delusional and into suicidal.

Let’s forget for a second that the Lions struggled against a Seattle defense that was ranked statistically below Chicago’s last season. Let’s also forget the fact that Chicago completely jacked up Green Bay last week. Why in the world would you give the likes of Brian Urlacher and Mike Brown bulletin board material of this caliber unless you had been smoking some first rate ganj?

Now, don’t get me wrong, Detroit looked surprisingly good last Sunday against Seattle. While the Lions eventually lost, they did hold the reigning NFC champs to 264 yards of total offense, over 100 yards less than their average last year. Unfortunately for Detroit, their offense couldn’t hold up their end of the bargain, gaining only 251 yards and converting on only 5 of 14 third downs.

Detroit’s offensive coordinator Mike Martz is known for his complex, albeit high-scoring, offensive schemes. Last Sunday it seemed like it confused the Lions more than the Seahawks. How will that offense fare against a Bears team that returns 11 starters on defense that, even after the whuppin’ they gave Green Bay, still have chips on their shoulders from last year’s playoff loss? Let's just say that Roy is lucky there's already a rule in place for his namesake in Dallas.

The Bears defense will definitely be out for blood come Sunday, and we haven’t even started on the offense yet. Our offensive line is one of the best in the league, anchored by Pro Bowl center Olin Kreutz. If Grossman can continue his progress with the offense that he’s shown through the pre-season and first game, Sir Smokes-A-Lot won’t see as much time on the field as he’d like. On top of that, our running game hasn’t even woken up yet.

By the end of the day Sunday the Bears will show this prediction for what it is, mindless bravado. Somebody get the urine jar ready, because Roy needs a check-up.

Season 1, Episode 1

2006-09-07T21:46:00.000-05:00